I think I wrote Jericho 10 years ago but it is possible it began somewhere closer to 15 or maybe it is more than 40.
There is a definite and intentional lack of precision there that has nothing to do with the Scotch I am drinking.
If you tried to pin me me down I might blame my refusal to answer on the Scotch but there is a greater likelihood that I would refuse because not everyone is entitled to know the reasons and or stories behind everything.
Even those you love the most are sometimes left in the dark because you cannot or will not tell them what is going on.
That doesn’t necessarily mean it is forever or will always be that way, but it doesn’t mean that it won’t.
Granted that is directed to those who are under the mistaken impression that I let my tongue waggle about anything and everything.
I am unfiltered but that doesn’t mean I haven’t any control or that I don’t choose what to share or not share.
Sometimes it is better to be silent because you never know what will come. Hell, you can write about something as innocuous as a soccer game and be inundated with comments and questions.
The Walls Came Tumbling Down
Some time ago I wrote about how I would tear down the walls that someone had erected and it was interpreted as being in reference to someone else.
The funny thing about it was the real focal point there was on myself.
It was more self reflective than anything else and though there may be truth to the initial thought the real convergence was upon the importance of ridding myself of illusion.
Call it a declaration of the importance of want and need.
Call it a shedding of excuses for not declaring what my real intent is alongside an understanding that such a declaration isn’t limited to one thing.
For example, you may say I am focused upon a want and need for a particular sports car to ride and I will nod my head.
But if you say it can only be a particular model I will say no because there is flexibility there. There is an understanding that limiting myself to just one may not serve by best interests.
So while there may be preferences, there is an understanding preferences can be too limiting.
But that doesn’t mean one cannot or should not set a particular goal because sometimes goals are more achievable than people realize.
I received a very pleasant and unexpected surprise yesterday.
While decorum prevents me from providing details I can tell you it wasn’t physical and that it was the kind of thing that provides hope.
A moment that can be used as a sign of a successful effort and proof that the road I am on is the correct one, at least for this particular time.
It also serves as a reminder of the benefit of displaying tenacity and gratitude especially when fear has been a constant companion.
Something about it made me think of a moment from long ago in which I and another debated who kissed who first.
If you asked me now I would say they kissed me and that they said “I love you first” knowing they would dispute this.
Since it doesn’t really matter whether I try to dissuade their desire to engage in revisionist history I won’t harp upon any of it.
Hell, it wouldn’t matter if either of us were right or wrong about it especially as I don’t know what made me think of it.
I suppose if I had to guess it would have something to do with having gone through a variety of boxes and old pictures at my parents’ new house.
That definitely made a variety of memories flow through the old noodle and noggin.
Today was the nicest day we have had in Texas in a long while and I was more than grateful for the warmth of the sun upon my back.
We spent more than a few minutes outside enjoying it and watching my not so young but still not old baby girl’s soccer game.
Some hours later she and I sat talking and she scrunched up her nose and told me she didn’t like a particular answer I gave to one of her questions.
I smiled and told her it was the best I had and she told me I needed to work on coming up with something better.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my own father a dozen years ago when I asked for his A game and the answer he gave me just didn’t cut it.
That is the thing about this parenting gig, you can’t get it right all the time, no matter how hard you try there are moments where your kid is going to ask for better.
I ought to add that when I asked my dad for his two cents I didn’t think he was going to have a better solution for that particular situation, but I sure hoped he would.
Sometimes that is just how it goes and that is ok. Life is like that.