Some People Thaw Something

A half dozen people have told me they refuse to read Hillary Clinton’s new book because they think she blames everyone else for her loss.

Every time I hear someone talk about this what I really hear is “Shut up Hillary” but said without any idea what is really in the book.

Maybe I am wrong, but it feels to me like people are shutting her down but whether it is because she is a woman or something else I cannot say.

Some People Thaw Something

Someone asked me if I have ever intentionally stopped speaking to someone and said there have been a few.

And I did it in the days before social media where people couldn’t read my public or private blog posts, Facebook status updates or tweets to try and stay abreast of what was going on in my life.

In a couple of cases I passed the person(s) I wasn’t speaking with daily and never said a word. I made a point to look right through them and lived life as if they were gone.

I was told I was being a jerk and that I ought to change my ways and ignored what was said.

When others approached me and asked if I would thaw out I said I didn’t know. They told me I wouldn’t like it if it happened to me and I nodded my head.

“It might break my heart or it might happen after heart break. If it does I’ll muddle my way through and figure it out.”

One friend told me those might be famous last words and I said “only if I die or kill myself.”

They told me I was being dramatic and I said it wasn’t drama, it was just an honest response.

That reminds me of the time I was told that someone said I sucked the life out of the room. I said it was a nasty thing to say and that if whomever said it really believed it they ought to say it to my face and or stop being friends with me.

I am who I am. Love me or don’t.

I am better than some, worse than others and ok for most.

Generally I like myself and am pretty comfortable with who I am, but like everyone there are things about myself I don’t like.

There are also things I do.

I try my best to change the bad and improve the good. It is all any of us can do.

Bad News

I got some news today that I interpreted as being bad but there is a chance it might not be.

There is a chance that it might be perfectly fine but I won’t know for a bit because of the people involved in this.

That is infuriating to me because I feel like I am being played with and no one likes that.

My initial instinct was to confront the people and demand answers. It is something I have done a million times before but I didn’t do it now.

Hell, I have spent most of the last year not doing it.

Why?

In one case it was because my gut said it wouldn’t give me the result I wanted. I wouldn’t get an honest answer and would just end up being more frustrated and angry.

In another I didn’t do it because I just didn’t have the mental bandwidth to take on another issue. There was too much and I decided it was just better to let go.

I figure some of these would unfold as they would and I would just handle things as they came along.

Truth is that for more than 18 months lots of things have been much harder than necessary and I have spent more than a few minutes feeling like I was walking through a hurricane or fighting a tornado.

Someone told me I sounded very sad and that they wouldn’t want to deal with all the sadness.

I told them much of it was sad but that there was an enormous amount of joy there too and suggested they try listening to more of what I was saying and not focus solely on what they thought.

That is what happens when your primary contact is through reading and not conversation. You miss out on a ton of details and sometimes the little things make the difference.

This is where I vent and dump out the contents of my mind. That doesn’t always include all of the good stuff so I can see how someone could misunderstand things.

And I can see how my telling them they weren’t a very good friend might be upsetting, doesn’t mean it is not true. 😉

Squiggly Lines Lead To Good Things

A dear friend asked me for my honest opinion about life and I said squiggly lines lead to good things.

I am not where I want to be and there are some significant challenges but I am so much closer than I once was.

Light years ahead of where I once was is more accurate so I feel pretty good about things.

Doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated and wish I was farther along the path or that I don’t get frustrated with some people.

Some have screwed me and some have created unnecessary havoc but that is life and you either manage those moments or cry.

I don’t cry, but I do yell from time to time.

Anyhoo, cross your fingers and send good thoughts my way because things might get ugly this week and I’d much rather they don’t.

Guess we’ll find out whether I drink my way through Grapefest or just walk.

The good news is my son is my size now so if I drink my way he is big enough to carry me home.

Of course the down side to it all isn’t just looking stupid in front of my family but the hangover that comes with the damn alcohol.

It never was fun to be hung over, but at this age it is much harder than it used to be. Guess I better focus on eating my way through instead.

In the interim I am going to work on my Jedi Mind trick and see if I can turn that to my advantage, you never know what can happen until you try.

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