A Time For Hellos & Goodbyes

Some people add value to your life and some people suck the life out of you.

A Time For Hellos & Goodbyes

Got The White Album playing and I am sort of absentmindedly flipping between songs.

Sitting here wondering what Lennon would say about Julia and how he might explain Helter-Skelter.

Would be interesting to hear this thoughts about how life experiences impacts our writing and the influence of age upon it.

In some ways I am more like I was at 25 than ever and in others, well I am a very different man.

There is nothing wrong with that and the fact is though I might sometimes wish I looked more like I did back then it would be pretty damn strange if I did.

The face in the mirror may look a lot more weathered and worn than I would like it to, but that guy has seen and done things the kid never imagined.

You can’t tell from the shot, but with the exception of the front half of my dome I have a full head of hair and virtually no gray.

Since I have no interest in taking drugs to restore what has left and am not willing to use silly string or markers to fill in the gap it won’t be long before I shave it down the tiniest nub.

Might even just shave it all off because the hair that does grow comes back in a hurry so if I don’t like the Mr. Clean look it doesn’t matter.

What I know for certain is I hate when the front gets slightly longer than it is now and prefer to keep it real short.

Makes life much easier, there are no more bad hair days or concerns about riding in convertibles.

It works for me and fits a time of hellos and goodbyes.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

My son says he is not ready for a bald dad and I say life is filled with moments we are never ready for.

We talk about friends old and new and I tell him I have been lucky to have some great friends who will be there forever and others who dropped along the way.

He wants to know how many disappeared because I moved and I say I am not sure.

Life got in the way of hanging out when we lived in the same cities and not everyone was willing to work to maintain things.

I tell him I have always been good about staying in touch with those people who matter to me and that if I stop talking to someone it almost always is because they gave me the scissors.

I want him to understand the importance and value of being a good friend and that I don’t believe in just dropping people.

But I don’t believe in being mistreated either and if friends don’t hold up their end, well sometimes you cut the line and walk.

The hard part is figuring out when to make that sort of decision and to remember not to be rash about it.

If people find us to be forgettable and easy to live without we ought to let them move on. It is their loss.

We don’t expect people to make an effort to stay in touch daily, weekly or monthly. Sure, there will be some who do but that is usually a small and select group.

Nothing wrong with that, but it is not unreasonable to expect some contact from people, especially if you do your part.

He is like me and he doesn’t need a huge group of friends, give him a couple of good ones and life is fine.

There is a Marcus Aurelius quote I have adopted as a sort of motto/benchmark for friendship/relationships.

Defenestrate Yourself

I think I might have shared a clip from Hancock here once or twice before.

Could be wrong, could be other spaces and places but I am not about to go searching for it.  No real need or purpose in doing so.

Instead I’ll set up the point and purpose of including it here and try to have it make sense.

The last decade has taken much from me and given me quite a few things too. It forced some terrible and significant changes and I am still too close to it all to say whether it was good or bad.

What I know is that things are on the right path…mostly.

Got a few hairy challenges to overcome, some pretty big dragons that have to be slain before I can say I am really where I want and need to be.

But I know without question I am getting closer and that I am going to get there.


Because I defenestrated myself a while back and though it hurt I picked my butt up and found a way to keep moving forward.

This clip reminds me of it a bit and though some might see it as hyperbole I see it as finding tools and resources we can use to get through our rough spots.


Some of my favorite childhood memories are tied into the 4th of July.

We would walk from my parent’s house to the park to see fireworks.

Balboa Park would be a sea of picnic blankets and baskets and the neighborhood kids would run around the place just being kids.

It felt magical to me and I have spent the decades since searching for something similar, especially because I wanted my kids to experience that.

Far too much of their lives have been spent being shuttled from place to place in cars and or with their faces in front of screens.

Some say it’s a generational thing and I know there is some truth in that.

My friends share similar comments and stories about now and then which is part of why I don’t completely flip out.

It is not just me.

But that doesn’t mean I need to just accept it and let it sit.

It is part of why I am excited about the new place.

But since I have another month or so before they move out and join me the net result for this year is there are no big family changes.

Just me and myself trying to decide if I want to go out among  the people and see fireworks or if I want to just chill out at home.

I ought to add that the dog would prefer I hung with him, but the fur ball is too far away for that to happen tonight.

Too bad I don’t still have access to the pool because what would really be nice is to sit in the water and watch the sky.

Anyway, in a time of hellos and goodbyes we’ll call this another day to say goodbye to some and maybe hello to others.

Sound the trumpets, Wilner is leaving the damn building.

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  1. Larry July 5, 2017 at 6:59 pm

    Going south there buddy – I do know what that is like. However, the rest of my hair is salt and pepper – no longer jet black. I’m not ready for the hair challenges either but I’ve had a long time to get ready for it.

    • Joshua Wilner July 5, 2017 at 7:50 pm

      I can live with the hair loss as long as I keep it buzzed tight or shaved.
      It is what it is, there are definitely bigger problems. But, not having hat head is a bonus. 🙂

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