I met the dangerous Apple Pie Donut today and discovered it has super powers and so do I.
I only ate one of the two I ordered and if you don’t think that is amazing you clearly haven’t eaten one.
That donut might have been the highlight of my day which should indicate the sort of day I have had.
It was the kind of day in which I hit the wall, not literally but I thought about doing so. Since I wasn’t interested in paying for the damage I would have done I went to the Rec and spent 15 minutes working on the heavy bag.
That took part of the edge off, but not enough for me to not want to scream at people and the world.
I did neither, but I thought about it.
Thought about it because I am significantly disappointed in some people and furious with a few more.
But that is just how life is sometimes and you learn to roll with it or you waste time and energy on people and things that don’t deserve your energy.
Talk To Me
I told a certain teenager I understand much of what is going on and explained certain challenges are no different than when I was that age.
Can’t say it was appreciated or understood and that was hard.
Not because I don’t understand the anger but because I poured gasoline over my head and walked into hell knowing precisely what I was doing.
I knew how much some things would hurt and how hard they would be but I did it because I believe they made sense and because sometimes you dance in the damn fire because it is the only way to get to the other side.
You know that side, the one where life is better and easier than the place in which you have been living in.
Fear keeps you from doing more than thinking about moving to that side. If you let it dominate you it will prevent from doing more than imagine a better life and that is not something I can tolerate.
I can’t stomach the idea of letting fear so thoroughly dominate me that I am paralyzed so I packed my bags and drove off into the unknown with a lot of hope.
That wasn’t easy because hope isn’t a strategy and sometimes it is the best way to have your dreams torn up and fed to you.
But if you are willing to take a chance and know how to pivot, adjust and keep moving while taking a beating it can be enough.
So I have taken the beating and kept pushing forward because my gut says it is the right thing to do.
But it hasn’t been easy and I have had more than one moment of doubt.
It is why I have no hair.
Live The Miracle
A double root canal and a double hernia plus a broken tooth and a dislocated finger suggests that maybe age is catching up with me a little bit.
Or maybe it is proof that I ought to spend more time brushing my teeth and wearing a mouth guard.
That double hernia is a different story, that is just bad luck and so is the dislocated finger but I managed both.
Two weeks after surgery I moved 15oo miles and carried my crap up three flights of stairs. Fifteen minutes after I slipped on the aforementioned stairs I tried to figure out how to pop my finger back into place myself.
Not because I am tough but because sometimes you find yourself on your own and have to be resourceful.
In less than a week I am going to move and then head off to LA for a Bat Mitzvah and come back to Texas to unpack boxes at the new place.
In between it all I am going to put in a full week of work, pack said boxes and some how put together a fercockteh montage on iMovie by myself.
All that chaos and craziness is probably why I hit that proverbial wall today and why that damn Apple Pie Donut tasted so damn good.
I am taking the long way home and I have no idea when I am going to reach that place I see in my head.
Can’t say if it is going to happen this year, next or somewhere further down the road.
All I know is that I feel like I am catching a cold and I can’t afford to get sick. Got no time for it and am going to will it away.
Can’t will myself to be taller or to fly, but I can will away sickness or at least force it to stay away for a couple more weeks.
Tell those bugs to get out of my way because I am going to mow down whatever gets in my path.
And while you are at it, see if you can convince my 19 year-old metabolism to come back home.
Hell, I’ll settle for 35, I am not ready for this almost 50 crap.
Can’t believe how many of my friends are turning 49 or have already passed the five OOOOO mark.
Y’all are really old. 😉
Better go brush my teeth and see about the mouth guard. It is the grinding in my sleep that is destroying them.
Good times…Good Times.