Passover might be my favorite Jewish holiday and certainly the one that has the most memories attached to it.
During my 47, soon to be 48 years of life there has never been a year in which I didn’t attend a seder…until this year that is.
You might ask if I could have made arrangements and the answer is I am sure I could have found a seder to attend.
Could have called some people and found a place but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not because of pride but because I am worn out.
Got a lot going on and I didn’t have it in me to go sit with strangers and sit through an all-nighter or even go through a short seder. Just didn’t have a place for small talk and so I had a seder of one.
Why Are You So Angry?
A Facebook friend asked why I am so angry and I snorted.
I didn’t say I don’t have to justify my feelings or provide a long list of legitimate reasons even though both are valid.
Didn’t say I am frustrated because some things have been much harder than necessary or that I don’t feel like certain things are appreciated.
Nor did I ask them why it is ok to pose a question in public and not send me a message asking if I am ok.
If they had I would have said I am most certainly not ok and not to worry about it because I will figure it out.
Both are true.
I am cognizant of what is going on and where things are or are not. I know where they should be and where I want them to be and in some cases why they aren’t.
Have I mentioned I love the Thor trailer because it feels like my life right now?
Do I think of myself as Thor?
Does it matter?
Not really, we do what we need to do to get through the bumps and hiccups of life.
I love the part where Thor throws everyone by not freaking out when the Hulk shows up. Maybe it is supposed to show him as goofy and out of touch or maybe he knows exactly what he is dealing with.
Doesn’t matter to me if it is one or both because I am goofy sometimes and I am fighting my own Hulk right now.
Not because I want to but because I have to.
That is the joy of adult life, you don’t always get to make the choices you want to make and sometimes have to do things you really don’t want to do.
But if life has taught me anything it is that I need to keep pushing because you never know how close you are.
Yeah, I am pushy sometimes, but so what. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and the crazy man gets a lobotomy.
Be careful how close you come with that electrical device, because if you aren’t careful the crazy man might take it out of your hands and place it up where it is less comfortable.
P.S. It irks me when I can’t stay angry with people. It is so much easier to keep them at a distance, even if they don’t deserve it.
But as I recently explained to someone, you can heap anger upon me and I won’t disappear. I am good at going deaf and ignoring things…sometimes.
An Extra Comma
There is an extra comma in the picture above but I am not going to fix it because it fits my mood and because life always has that extra something that we can’t just remove.
Confession, I am listening to Rachel Platten sing Fight Song and smiling because it fits, just like that extra comma.
Don’t care if it is a corny pop song or not, it resonates with me and with quite a few others.
Been wondering what a midlife crisis is and whether this moment in time qualifies or not.
Don’t really want one or feel the need to add another crisis to my list of crises experienced and conquered but again it is like the extra comma, you don’t always get a choice.
My buddies at Merriam-Webster define it as such:
an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending;
Should I thank old Merry Webb for convincing me that I am in the midst of a crisis. Should I tweet a note of gratitude or simply use it as an excuse to write a bunch of crap that people won’t read.
My answer is obvious. I am going to write and whomever reads or does not will or will not.
That is part of what happens when you write the mother of blog posts.
Tall Women & Airplanes
I rarely fly Southwest which is probably why I forgot the importance of checking in for my flights as early as possible.
Had I done so I would have avoided riding in the dreaded center seat and wouldn’t have considered whether I wanted to station myself between the two ladies who were both well over six feet tall.
Yes, I considered it but chose not to because even though they were very attractive there was no good reason to make sure I would be less comfortable than I knew I would be sitting between smaller people.
Twenty-five years ago I might have thought about it and seen if I could convince them to go out on a date with a normal sized man, but I live in the present so we’ll never know what could have happened.
Who knows, maybe I could have married one and had kids who were tall enough to be NBA or football players.
They could have made millions and helped me retire early, sigh, some dreams never be realized. 😉
Days Of Yore
Long ago when social media was much younger people used to participate in Half Naked Thursday.
I wonder if that still goes on anymore or anywhere.
Haven’t gone looking for it or thought about it in years, but once upon a time I might have sort of participated in it.
Can’t confirm or deny. Take that as you will and wonder or don’t about what is going on isn’t going on.
Sometimes life is a little messy and not as clean as we’d like it to be.
I sure wish I wasn’t getting back on a plane as soon as I am, but I’ll manage it because that is just what you do.
P.S. I sort of like that extra comma, means more stuff is coming and I choose to think it is good and not bad.