You Have No Home & No Help

Can’t remember the last time I listened to Linger by The Cranberries so I turned it on and smiled because I still enjoy it.

Saw an ad for some emergency supplies and started thinking about my own emergency kits and realized I don’t know where some of my prized possession are and grew mildly irritated.

That is because when I went to track some things down I knew exactly where they were in the last seven places I have lived and am not entirely sure where they are now.

Got a pretty good idea what box to look in and where it is in my current closet and made a point to take a deep breath and exhale.

My life as an itinerant isn’t something that is going to last forever and eventually I’ll live somewhere again where I can plan on being there for more than about a year.

You Have No Home & No Help

When you are 800 miles into the middle of a 1500 mile car ride and there is no other cars around you there is no reason why you can’t sing along with the Doobie Brothers.

Granted if you were in a different time and place you might do the Funky Chicken with ReRun but that is not possible now.

No, you had two root canals and a hernia operation that your surgeon says was timely because it turns out you had not one, but two growing inside you.

“Settin’ out on a voyage down to jenner
I’ve given all I’ve got to help the cause
Need a place just to settle out my pressures
A place where you and I can sit and pause
So I can see the sky at night
Without a fear of hidden light to blind me
Mm, mm
And so you see the path is clear
And changes will be swayed around me”

You belt it out without a care in the world but remember to look at the clock ‘cuz the man who cut you open suggested you not spend countless hours behind the wheel.

“Doc, I have a new job and I can’t make this into a pleasure trip. Got to push hard and get there so I can’t started.”

He nods his head and says “you have no home and no help. Best to take it easy so you don’t tear your stitches out and have to come see me again.”

The memory fades and I go back to singing with the Doobies.

Nobody, nobody gonna take my love away from me
Nobody, nobody gonna take my love away from me

The doc is right, for the time being I am on my own and though I know a few people I am not going to call and ask for help.

I’ll carry my things up the stairs, maybe not the way I normally would but I am built for the long haul and not going to let little things stop me from living as I wish to live.

Adapt, adjust and overcome, that is how it is going to be because I refuse to do it any differently.

You’re A Fool

There is nothing to see out the windows and the endless miles of nothing give my imagination way too much time to think about things.

From somewhere in the black a voice rises up and says “you’re a fool” and more but let’s be real those first three words are the nicest and most kind.

I offer my own response and give as good as I got and mention I am open to real conversation and real discussion but I am not chasing after it.

There is a burst of laughter and I hear that voice say something about chasing but I am ignoring it because the conversation is going no where.

“The place to talk to yourself out loud is on the bus or maybe the subway. That is how you guarantee you’ll get a seat.”

I am not sure if I said or dreamed of saying the words and decide it is time to pee, stretch my legs and grab a cup of coffee.

Stonehenge In Texas

Six hundred miles outside of Dallas I am parked on the side of the road and half asleep in the car.

This time the radio is blaring The Rolling Stones and I have a silly image of me strutting around like Mick Jagger.

Oh, a storm is threat’ning
My very life today
If I don’t get some shelter
Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away

Mick doesn’t enunciate the way he could so a part of me wonders if I couldn’t sort of make this part work.

The thought doesn’t last because I can’t prance around like he can without looking dumb.

Of course some would say that about Mick but he has made it work for about 50 years or so and I am just some guy who is wondering if he could sell tickets to Stonehenge in Texas.

Don’t know what made me think of it, but I have this idea to recreate the rock formation and create a tourist spot out of it.

I don’t bother wondering or worrying about whether it is legal or how much it might be cost to build because it is just a way to pass a few minutes while I try to catch some zzzz.

At least that is the plan and it might have worked if Rose Royce hadn’t interrupted with Car Wash.

Ya know it is one of those song like Love Rollercoaster by the Ohio Players that you start singing along with.

You Still Have No Home & No Help

I am trying not to make myself crazy about where the missing items from above are.

None of them are critical but the fact I am not sure where they are irks me and has me contemplating tearing the house apart to locate them.

If I don’t find them here I can go to the storage facility to start looking through boxes there.

It is a ridiculous thought and I know it but some times not having a home and help grinds on me.

One more deep breath and perspective returns along with Sly and The Family Stone singing “thank you for letting me by myself.”

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2 Comments

  1. Larry March 21, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    I remember when I moved and had no one. It was liberating at times and lonely at times. Of course, I was a single guy then and could get back home in a couple of hours. None the less, I felt both of those things.

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