And the moment we are in starts with the music inside my head.
The person tells me I need to face the undeniable facts of life and suggests that all of my problems come from my refusal to accept their position.
I laugh and tell them I have stared at terror’s unblinking eye and done my best not to be the first to look away.
“I can’t tell if you are a fool or an idiot.”
I smile and tell them I don’t waste time wondering what they are and walk away.
The music moves on to the next song and I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth of the sun upon my back.
The only undeniable truth I accept is that things happen and plans change.
Sometimes the phone rings and I answer and sometimes I don’t just answer but I share.
Not everyone is granted insight into the madness and desperation of a person’s soul or given the chance to see the hope shining through their eyes.
Some think it is based upon personal choice but others know better because experience has taught them sometimes there is no choice.
Lightning strikes and after you pick your ass up off of the ground and dust it off you discover things are…different.
The Undeniable Facts Of Life
Another person tells me I have to accept the undeniable facts of life and shakes her head when I say we disagree about facts.
She tells me I read and watch the wrong news and accuses me of being something she sees as vile because I ask her to prove the validity of her fiction.
“You must recognize the truth and if you don’t, well we break you.”
I smile again and tell her you can’t break what is already broken.
She asks what that means and I tell her I can’t educate the willfully blind or pull the fingers out of her and others ears.
“You are a very rude man.”
“I guess you just learned an undeniable truth about life.”
“You’d be happier if you just accepted things.”
“You’d be prettier if you didn’t speak.”
“I was wrong, you’re not just rude, you’re an asshole.”
“It is not rude to disagree with someone but it might be accurate to say there are kinder ways to express disagreement. But I did tell you this wasn’t a good thing to engage me about.”
And the music rolls on
A Failure To Communicate
Somewhere inside me the voice of Strother Martin says what we have here is a failure to communicate.
It rattles around inside and I don’t hide from this particular truth because it is tied into the root.
Sixteen years and something isn’t working right and I keep searching for the the light switch in a darkened room.
There has to be a door or a window that I can crack open, something that will let the light in but I can’t find it.
And that is the real undeniable truth here, I don’t have access.
The best I can do is shine a light or set my hair on fire and see if that serves as a torch that be used as a guide back to the shore.
This is why sometimes I look at people and wonder if they ever pay attention to what is going on around them.
Why I wonder if they have stopped to think about or question if they’re being heard.
And somewhere in the twilight I remind myself that this too shall pass and that it is possible nothing I do will make it pass any faster or go any slower.
That is the undeniable truth.
So the real question lies in determining the best way to manage things for this indefinite period of time.
and the echo inside my head rings forth time and time again.
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung