A Different Kind Of Yom Kippur

I didn’t expect to start this post because of something I wrote about my father shortly after he died yet here I am following the muse wherever he/she takes me.

Maybe I have heard the sound of one hand clapping or maybe I am in the middle of tremendous personal change and it is not because of a butt dial now.

Some aches never go away but you can hear those who have departed speaking if you take the time to listen.

Some of you may think I am crazy if I say I hear my father’s voice but he showed up today and I don’t care if it’s real or imagination.

I told him stories sons only tell their fathers and whispered intentions of where I intend to sell this boat and prepared to run with the moon again.

If you have never allowed raw emotion to take you so that you might issue your own barbaric yawp you have missed out and while FOMO rarely moves me this one does.

So let’s move from the preface into the post with Leonard Cohen singing Who By Fire.

Adventure never asks you if you are ready it slaps you across the face and demands an answer. I thanked whatever mythical beings watch out for me and picked up a new pair specs and shades so that I could see what was coming more clearly.

Clear vision didn’t help me avoid traffic on the way to shores of middle earth.

When I reached the dock I had to run full speed and hope that I could launch an almost middle aged body far enough to reach the ship and not end up in the water.

I’ll let your imagination determine whether it was athletic skill or a mix of fury, sadness and frustration that propelled me through the air.

That Hero’s Journey isn’t supposed to be easy but it is transformative.

I took a look at the guy in the photo above and the one in the video in the prior post and thought about the similarities and differences between them.

Was the older guy really wiser and smarter or just more grizzled. Would the younger guy be able to out work the old guy?

If that younger guy had chosen to take a different path what would the old guy look like now and how different would life be.

People like to tell you they wouldn’t do things differently because they wouldn’t want to change major elements of their lives.

I shake my head and say I absolutely would have changed some things. I absolutely would have done some things differently.

I should gone right instead of left. I shouldn’t have answered the phone or email. I shouldn’t have gotten on some planes and I absolutely should have gotten on others.

These days I look in the mirror and I spell out the regrets, the mistakes and the changes. Because I have taken some roads as far as I can take them.

You can’t acknowledge the death of some things unless you open your eyes and listen to the sound of your voice reciting Kaddish for whatever or whomever it was.

It is the only way to make space for new things in your life. Figure out the eclipse of reality and move forward.

Good Advice

I link to this video every year around this time. Frankly I would embed it but it is age restricted on YouTube.

Doesn’t matter if you are a philosophy major who is tasked with writing a proof for whether god exists or not the story in the video makes sense.

A certain number of babies will be born and a certain number of people will die in a variety of ways. None of that ever changes regardless of whether you believe in a higher power or not.

When people ask if I pray and if I ask for another year I sometimes respond by saying I am more agnostic than anything else.

I try to influence the things I know I have some control over. I try to exercise more, improve my diet, restore my honor and be a better person.

Those are things that worth doing because they make life better for me and those around me. Those are worth doing because they impact the here and now and not because of hope for some kind of gift on the other side.

The importance of Yom Kippur isn’t about asking G-d for dispensation to watch a ball game or go to Oktoberfest. It isn’t about asking for those I love to be healed, protected or watched over.

It is about taking a moment to think about what kind of life is being led and if it can’t be better.

Given the transformative moment of the present it is about take a beat to look around and determine if the current direction makes sense.

I like the advice Lao Tzu gives above but I haven’t always been good about following it.

Yom Kippur is about asking those I have hurt to forgive me and to give me another chance. It is about me considering whether to give those who have hurt me if I ought to give them a second chance too.

It is about answering the question of what happens if I don’t and whether my reason for refusal makes sense.

Anger is a poison.

Friends of mine have cancer and some of them might end up in a very serious situation so there is reason for me to think carefully.

Reason for me to remember to be grateful for so many good things and to recognize I should have at least another 20 summers if not more.

Release the poison and it makes it easier to enjoy whatever we have now and to give a better shot at securing as much or more of those 20 summers.

Those who are my age or older know how fast this goes. It is why the transformation is so important and so necessary.

The heartache is real and it is not just one thing but so is the gratitude and the hope.

There will be a new dawn. The new year will provide more opportunity and I believe wholeheartedly in the truth of a Harry Potter quote.

“Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”

Sometimes the most important thing you can do is recognize when it is time.