The tech told me to take off my shirt and lie on my left side.
I didn’t ask her what would happen if I fell down and if she thought she could pick me up like I did with the tech the day before.
He smiled and told me not to fall off of the treadmill and I said I would do my best. I didn’t tell him that if I fell off of the damn machine my ego would likely be more bruised than anything else and I wouldn’t want any help.
Took a couple of minutes to get my heart rate to where they wanted it and then I got it there and watched pages print out from a machine that reminded me of the kind of printer I had had in college.
Tech took me off of the machine and then I made a mental note of how long it took me to recover. Wasn’t as fast as it once was but it wasn’t that slow either.
I wasn’t sure how long the echo would take but I told the tech if I fell asleep to let me enjoy my nap. We both laughed and a few moments later she said she wasn’t getting a great image of my left ventricle and suggested using an IV for some contrast.
“How much will that cost?”
I asked out of habit but knew I was going to pay for it. As my buddy Angel says $500 bucks to make sure you’re not about to die is money well spent.
The tech asked if people have a hard time finding my veins and I said only those who have never done it before.
“My arms aren’t like they used to be, but the veins still pop.”
Wasn’t hard at all for her to hook me up and I lay on my back thinking about how surreal it felt to me.
Thought about Maybe I’ll Update My Eulogy and asked myself If I am ready to commit and got distracted by other thoughts.
I Am Angry
Bruce is singing about racing in the street and I am remembering when it wasn’t uncommon for one of us to have that ’69 Chevy with the 396 he is singing about.
There is a ton of stuff going on and I have ample reason to be aggravated. This is that part of adulting in which you have to figure out whether you can afford to let yourself be angry or if you have to push it aside.
A time when you figure out what parts you subjugate and what you let roam free. Compartmentalize where you can because some things and some people don’t deserve to get that much energy out of you.
They don’t deserve the free rent so you either keep the door lock or figure out how to evict them.
Could write about the debate and what a mess that was. Posted I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue but not sure how many caught the reference and how many took it seriously.
Not going to bother to dig too deep into it because it is not worth it.
Not going to let that wreck my night either because some of it wasn’t unexpected or surprising to me. It is like so many other things that are going on right now, irritating or infuriating.
But life never asks if you are prepared for a good surprise or a bad. They happen on life’s schedule and you either roll with it or let yourself get pummeled.
I won’t permit myself to be pummeled without doing what I can to fight back and or protect myself.
The results of the tests haven’t been uploaded to the portal yet so I can’t dig into them and try to figure out if there is anything to be concerned about.
Tech today said that if she saw anything that looked bad she wouldn’t let me leave and I would have to get checked out sooner.
One could argue that means there is nothing to be concerned about and one could offer concern about whether she is qualified to make such decisions.
I still made it to the gym and did an abbreviated workout so I take that as a sign that everything is find. Might not be perfect but it is good enough for the moment.
And good enough for the moment works today, but tomorrow might be different. We’ll see what morning brings, no reason to buy trouble unnecessarily.
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