Sometimes when people hear I am from California they make ridiculous remarks like “Don’t California my Texas” or “I know the real reason you moved here is because it was terrible there.”
If you catch me in the right mood I may give you an answer that will burn your eyebrows off of your face and half the hair upon your melon.
Or I might tell you that I moved here for a girl that I was madly in love with.
Sometimes that answer will shock them and they’ll ask for more details so I’ll fill them in and say she was one of the most beautiful creatures I ever seen.
“I could stare at her for hours and just watch her move about and for a long time I was certain she loved me too but then fate stepped in.”
I always pause for effect and wait to see if they ask me to continue and then I tell them about how a steakhouse got in the way.
That usually shocks them and they ask what I mean and I tell them I am the CEO of a major Kosher Cattle Ranch based out of California that is breaking into the Texas market.
Then I tell them about star heifer who won awards but unfortunately had a tragic accident and was turned into steaks.
You should see the looks I get, mostly because they quickly realize they don’t know a damn thing about my home state other than what they have read/watched.
Twenty Or More Years
Been part of a few conversations lately where people I have known for 20 or more years begin telling me things about themselves.
Makes me scratch my head a bit because I wonder if they do it with everyone or if for some reason they think I haven’t paid any attention to anything they have said or done.
Can’t say that I haven’t considered whether my behavior has led them to believe this or not. Maybe it has but some of them ought to realize I have paid very close attention.
Won’t claim to be the expert on all of their mannerisms and behavior but I do know things and I know that they like having me around or so it seems.
Have to confess I was told today in a professional setting that I am very good at making people feel calm and secure.
I suppose I ought to throw some of that credit out to the folks and that I’ll give a hat tip to Dad. If I have ever told you to make sure you carry at least one working flashlight in your car and jumper cables you can blame him.
But you can blame me for saying you need a real one and to not rely upon your phone. And if you are my kids you can blame me for all that and saying you need to know how to read a map because you can’t always rely upon a GPS being available.
****
Spent some time reviewing things I have written here and elsewhere because I was asked what I would do if more people read my words.
The answer wasn’t hard for me.
Not much.
I don’t owe explanations to anyone and there really isn’t much that I expect people would ask me about. I suppose you could read some things that might sound outrageous or confusing but I wouldn’t expect it.
And if you are in certain places you know what to expect or at least you ought to.
Which all goes back to a moment where someone tried to twist something I said that wasn’t ambiguous. I asked a question in response to something they had written and that led to this ridiculous comment.
I offered to get on the phone or meet in person to square it but they passed.
Guess I am not always soft and squishy or fun and games.
Kind of funny to think about because I tell the younger Mr. Wilner to remember that he can be exceptionally blunt and maybe I know something more about where that comes from.
The Stealthiest Ninja
Been telling my daughter that I am the stealthiest ninja for years but can’t remember how it started.
Midway through my workout today my heart started pounding and I went through my normal routine of pushing through it but got concerned about my form and stopped.
Leaned against the wall and wondered if I looked like one of those out of shape old men. It was disturbing to me, guess vanity doesn’t like that.
Mostly like what I saw and see because there are changes and definition returning and then I realized I could hear myself breathing.
That got my attention and as I was considering it I realized that it is damn hard to be the stealthiest ninja if you are huffing and puffing.
Suppose I’ll have to work on that along with my stealthiest ninja skills so that I can disappear and not be seen nor noticed.
Sure, make me comment on another article. lol
Thursday I went to one of my best friend’s house for Thanksgiving, not having any real close relatives anymore. I’ve known the older members of his family for over 45 years, but it never occurred to me until this time around that none of them, other than my friend and his wife, actually knew anything about me.
But they asked and I responded, and I enchanted them for nearly an hour about my early life and some of my early escapades. Turns out they didn’t even know how I actually met my friend, thinking we met when we were in college… which wasn’t true. Sometimes people are just listening to what’s happening in the now, not paying attention to anything else or asking questions of you or other people who might know something more about you. I figure it happens to almost everyone; maybe that’s what keeps life interesting.
What you said makes sense. There are certainly people I have known for years with little detail about who they are and them about me.
Similar circumstances, been at the same parties as some of them for decades and never really had deep conversations.
That makes sense to me.
It is the people who I know well and who in turn know me well that make me wonder why they are telling me something they know I know.
If I have led them to believe I am unfamiliar with something by my actions I’d prefer to be told and then I am more likely not to repeat the error, if that is how they see the previous behavior.
But it definitely makes life interesting at times, these moments that is.