The World I See

Sat down at the dinner table, pulled out my phone and started to dial dad’s number and then just stopped.

Wasn’t completely surprised by it but still scrunched up my face trying to figure out what made me do it and why at that time.

Shrugged my shoulders, thought about a few songs that I have been listening to on and off and made a mental to play them later.

They are covers of other songs I appreciate for a multitude of reasons.

Listening to them they still strike me but remind me again about how what is familiar can be explored in a multitude of ways.

You might ask if these posts help you understand the world I see and I would nod my head but I would also say there are those who might be invited to see the world as I see it…maybe.

Transformations and Changes

You don’t have to be a prophet to see we are living during a time of transformation and changes.

Don’t have to ask the gypsy woman, Pasqualina or the genie in the lamp what is going to happen or to grant you wishes to make things happen.

We’re living through history and we are never going back to the world we used to live in. Maybe it is exactly the moment to play Times Like These or maybe there is a better song, not sure.

A spasm hit a while back and I heard myself grunt and felt the stirring of the little boy who used to yell that he would ‘take this potch and throw it away.’

That twinge made me angry and I wondered for the millionth time whether I would master it or it would master me.

Decided that one way or another I’ll make the choice and the decision, the body can come along peacefully or be dragged along.

Force of will is worth something, isn’t it.

****

There was a moment during a call today when the person on the other side asked me where I was from because she said I alternated between sounding very Texan but not quite.

I laughed and told her I am from LA and then she said that must be it. I must have a bit of the drawl from living here but I put words together like someone from LA.

Her husband was on the call and did me the favor of saying he had no idea what that meant. I stayed silent and let them argue for a moment and then shop talk resumed which was fine with me.

Talked with them about some ideas for post pandemic and tried to get a sense of what is coming.

“Josh, do you think you can find a few few things for me?”

“Probably. That is what I do. I hunt people and things down.”

Husband laughs and asks if I think I am Logan.

“Don’t have a body filled Admantium or claws, but we might share other traits in common, but probably not.”

He says I sound like a character and I say something like that.

****

Somewhere in the echoes of memory I hear my grandfather asking if I am prepared to be a soldier and see myself nod my head.

“You know it is no joke. I remember some of my friends coming home.”

I nod my head and tell him if I make aliyah I want to do my part and not be the American who doesn’t fit in.

Grandpa nods his head and we sit in silence.

Almost thirty years later I look back and wonder if maybe I am not going to go back and stay. Almost thirty years later I think about how likely it is and that I’ll have to be the guy who didn’t, but that will be ok.

Got no choice, I’ll be far too old to live that particular life and so I’ll have to build something different.

There is far too much road between now and then to go too deep into that particular possibility so I’ll leave some of it on the shelf for now.

The world I see, oh do I see it.

I Still Know Things

Post dinner activities involve a couple of things where younger family members ask for my assistance and I tell them I might have to assess a consulting fee.

They roll their eyes and shake their heads about it and ask if I must be like this.

“I don’t know what you are talking about but I do know this. I still know things.”