Almost 30 years ago Henry Kissinger spoke at a trade show I was at.
I remember going because my supervisor is among the very worst I have ever had the displeasure of working for.
She stole two of my ideas to pass off as her own and waited until two days before I would be through probation and in the system to let me go.
The HR contact said I should file a grievance and that I would likely win. It was a state role and once you were in it was hard to get rid of you.
This awful lady waited until almost the end of my six month probation because we didn’t like each other and maybe if I hadn’t been young and angry I would have fought if for no other reason than to stick it to her, but I wanted out.
Anyhoo, I remember Kissinger talking about multiple Chinese dynasties that had risen and fallen.
Something about how even though they were gone for a thousand years they had lasted longer than the US and how one day we would likely fall too.
I am not convinced we’re quite there yet but we are far too close for comfort and now we take a break to share a piece called:
All We Had Were Words.
If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. Emma by Jane Austen
It was a 21st century romance acted out in 19th century fashion. In the beginning all we had were words. There weren’t any pictures, videos or friends in common. The tools that we normally used to evaluate others weren’t available.
We couldn’t rely upon an in person experiences to provide any sort of feedback about each other. We didn’t meet in a bar, restaurant, class or party. You couldn’t tell your friends about the cute guy you saw and I couldn’t tell the boys about those pretty eyes I like to stare at.
All that we had were the words on a page. The words that we used to craft thoughts and ideas about life, children, relationships, politics and so much more were all that we had. Others vehemently disagreed with us and from behind their keyboards launched vicious attacks.
No one could have guessed that the slings and arrows push us into an alliance. Together we composed our responses to their comments and pointed out the flaws in their arguments. Behind the scenes we sent out private messages expressing our incredulity at the illogical and oft times hysterical rantings of the others.
And when their responses became personal in nature we laughed because it confirmed our beliefs that they had nothing to stand upon. Although we didn’t realize it, their responses provided concrete and evidentiary support that we made a great team.
More time passed and we continued to build upon our earlier successes. They continued to launch all out assaults upon us. They attacked our character and our virtue. They made allegations about things they knew nothing of and we didn’t falter.
When I think back upon that time I realize that was one of the earliest signs I had that I had developed feelings for you. I didn’t care what they said about me but I cared about you. It didn’t matter that you told me that you didn’t care because I was raised to respond to those things.
I think that they were shocked when I went after them so aggressively. I am certain that if we could have seen their faces they would been standing their slack jawed and dumbfounded by my words. In the common parlance it would have been deemed a disproportionate response, but it sent a very clear message.
No one was allowed to mess with you without consequence. I enjoyed being your knight protector, even during those times when I knew that you didn’t need or want it.
We talked about whether it was destiny or coincidence. We wanted to call it destiny. It felt right and it felt good. But when you spend time working on things that are real it is hard to rely upon the intangible. It was always easier for me to grab those wisps of smoke and call them real.
It is part of why we make such a good team. You look at the facts and analyze them. You pore over and catch the little details that I don’t always see. I come up with the big dreams and conceive of ways to actually capture the intangible and turn it into something concrete.
Together we complement the other and provide the kind of team that you don’t stumble upon. A partnership that is far deeper than a handshake and more substantial than a piece of paper.
And to think that in the beginning all that we had were words……….
He Is Gone
I am still thinking about the tragic death of the rabbi I mentioned in the post from yesterday called Would I Really Let You Break My Heart Again.
Still thinking about how unfair it is for his wife and five kids to have to figure out how to move forward. Still thinking about how many stories about how unfair life can be that involve people I know in real life.
There is the family where the husband/father was murdered at an ATM and the woman from college who’s boyfriend was murdered in the parking lot of Brent’s Deli.
The parents and siblings of two people I know who died from brain tumors and a few others come to mind.
It makes me think about how many layers of content and ideas were placed in that last post. It makes me think about how lucky I am.
That biopsy could have gone so differently. That report could have been far more life changing than it is/was.
Dad used to shake his head sometimes when I asked for his opinion. “You like asking a few people for their thoughts and then you do whatever the hell you want to do anyway.
He wasn’t wrong because I do whatever I choose to do but I do consider what I have heard.
I keep thinking about some of the things I have written in the past and whether they are applicable still today.
Some of them are and some may ever remain so.
A good gardener is like that painter or sculptor too. They look at patches of dirt and understand that if they tend to their garden they can grow something beautiful there.
It may be dirt today but with some patience and some love you can turn weeds into flowers.
The citizens of the U.S. are engaged in weeding our garden now. It remains to be seen if we are going to be able to pull enough of them to keep the weeds from killing the grass.
It is going to take some doing, but the weeds don’t have the same roots as some of the plants that have been in hibernation since winter.
Spring is here the weeds may find themselves outmatched by the providence of spring showers and the care of gardeners who don’t mind digging in the dirt to help fertilize that which requires more care.
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