A woman once told me I was the love of her life and then told me we could only be friends.
During a separate conversation I bet her I could use a pick up line that was so bad she would be forced to kiss me first.
She told me that would never happen and I reminded her that she had been the first to say I love you and had made the first move on me.
I was accused of revisionist history and I said, “Cougars have bad memories when they want to.”
Seventy Pounds
I got more news back regarding what the docs found during my liver biopsy and smiled because even if my liver has launched a minor mutiny I received the news I expected.
I can fix this thing.
It is good news and it answers some of the questions I came up with as I wrote Do You Wish To Dance With Death?
Hit the gym with fury today because I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavy for the two weeks after the biopsy and grabbed a pair of 70 pound dumbbells. I pumped out two sets with those bad boys and reminded myself of the need for vanity and sanity.
Vanity is what made me pick them up and years of lifting is what made my arms move those weights with decent form.
Sanity said to stop while I was ahead but vanity snuck in and asked if I could get back to 100 pounds per arm by my birthday.
Will I try to do it?
Maybe.
Will it matter if I do or don’t?
Probably not, but it felt good to test myself a little bit. There is no prize nor cash reward for lifting light or heavy.
No one but me will remember it. I won’t be gifted with a YouTube video of a character I created like Snape and Dumbledore in the video above.
But I will be given health by my own efforts and that health may provide me with the opportunity to write that book some people have asked about.
That motivates me, as does the Godzilla roar sound effect I sometimes play when I am lifting heavier weights or the Kashmir video below.
Memories & Motivation
Someone rolled through Memories Of A Blue Dress and a dozen thoughts rolled through my mind pushing me to explore why some showed up again.
There was the visual of running into an ex at a movie theater with the goofy guy she was on a date with. The moment I considered accidentally dumping his coffee on him and the moment when I thought he was going to be dumb enough to try and confront me in the lobby.
That was followed by a visual of an iceberg rolling over at sea and an understanding there is an itch I have been trying to scratch but haven’t quite gotten to.
I remembered how last year I tried to send someone a Mishloach Manot basket but the order didn’t go through and now a year later we’re no longer in touch.
Got me thinking about how some people play a huge role in our lives and some don’t. Some come and go, some shoot across the sky inside in our memory like a comet across the evening sky.
Others are simply forgotten.
Given the chaos and confusion of the current moment in time I can see why I am feeling a little agitated and why some memories might crop up.
It is easier to figure out what those are or are not. It is easier to understand the irrational and illogical behavior of those we know than to try to ascertain if the Russian asset in the Oval Office is suffering from Alzheimer’s or trying to to execute some evil plan.
The kids asked me again whether I was worried about the future and I told them I am concerned but I try to focus on what I can control.
I still have no doubt we’ll get to the other side and a new dawn will break. What that may or may not look like is questionable.
But we’ll manage it.
Life doesn’t ask you what you can or can’t handle or whether challenges come at a good or bad time.
That liver biopsy could have been really bad and it wouldn’t have mattered if we had a great president in office or the Russian asset.
Hell, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or fall down the stairs. Things happen and all we can do is manage them.
As my father and grandfather used to say, “you have to play the cards you are dealt.”
That used to drive me crazy but as I got older I realized you had more ability to play those hands, whether they be good or bad.
You could take a bad hand and make it work for you and you could screw up a good hand too.
Epilogue
I have been going through old posts and removing some of the old stuff. Some of it is because there are some dead links that cause multiple issues and some of it is because the focus of this joint has changed since I first started it.
But I have had some fun revisiting old posts and remembering certain situations and circumstances. I have enjoyed revisiting some writing that I thought was really good and cringed at other stuff.
The post below had some good stuff, including some links that made me smile, I might even have to update a few of those. The fifty something year old guy I am now appreciates the forty something year old I once was.
The Content You Ignore Is Killing Your Blog
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