Those who know me well probably don’t expect to see me use a Barry Manilow quote here, but it is appropriate for the moment.
But before we get too deep, before we rely on overused business jargon and Lean In we’ll share a couple of links to some of what I have been listening to.
Big Yellow Taxi + Both Sides Now (BBC – 1969)– Joni Mitchell
All I Know Art Garfunkel
Bridge Over Troubled Water Simon & Garfunkel
Goodbye– Emmylou Harris
I have written several letters which I poured out the contents of my heart and soul upon the page because I had to get some things out.
It wasn’t because I lacked the strength to continue because I had all that and more, but because I lacked the will.
Because I couldn’t remember if we said goodbye and decided if it wasn’t important enough to others to say so than it wasn’t important to me.
Walking under a cloudy night sky with a sliver of moon I remembered one of the last conversations with my father and his telling me to go and have a good life.
Remembered other conversations and promises I made not to others but to me and recalled one in which I declared fear would never again prevent taking the right action for me.
That came last year and 2025 will be the time in which I hold up my end of the bargain.
Not Even The Chair
Moving on to I Am, I Said and feel myself in between time, place and space. Not quite lost but not quite where I thought I would be but confident I am moving on the path that will take me where I want to go.
Took a look at the last bunch of posts that made their way onto the pages here and asked myself what story I have been telling myself and if it is one that resonates with me.
- Writing My Way Into The New Year
- When Adventures In The New Car Met Gratitude
- 500 Things You Learn In Therapy & From Blogging
- Don’t Bite, It’s Not A Hot Dog
- He Is A Placeholder
Haven’t decided one way or another but given the manner in which I have been slicing and dicing posts and people from my life it is entirely possible we might see them come and go.
So we sing along with Leonard:
I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Probably fair to say that large cup of coffee at 6 PM is part of why it is after midnight and I feel as wide awake as mid day.
Given my night owl nature it doesn’t take much to find me wandering the rooms of this haunted house after midnight. Weather man says it is still sixty something degrees now but given time that polar vortex will drop things some 40 points.
There was a time when I would have said that was a ridiculous swing in temperature but Texas has taught me that ridiculous swings in temperature and people are possible.
Got a notepad next to me that I am using to make lists of things to take to Goodwill and other chores to be done.
Got a notepad next to me upon which I throw out ideas for phrases to use in future posts.
Got a notepad next to me that I use to catch the thoughts and ideas Johnny brings to me while he sings “Hurt” and I go back to the same places.
If I could start againA million miles awayI would keep myselfI would find a way
I know the way and the how. I am doing it. That is the New Years resolution I won’t break.
Leave a Reply