Was It A Total Eclipse Of Reality?

Last night I made a change to the theme of this blog for the first time in several years if not longer. Been thinking about it for a while now but life got in the way and I didn’t get to it.

Rosh Hashanah came and I decided that it was time to reframe, refocus and adjust. So what you have here is the beginning of some of that.

Last weekend I ordered a new pair of glasses and a new pair of sunglasses. That is me in my Wayfarers below, taken in my car around sunset today.

I love them.

Took a pair of Wayfarers with me through Israel and wore them all throughout high school but changed gears and went a different direction long ago.

Haven’t owned a pair of Ray-Bans in about 23 years or so not that it matters how long ago it was. It feels like coming home and given all that has been going on it is nice to have that.

The regular glasses that I purchased last week somehow were delivered to a Lenscrafters in a different state so I am waiting for them to be sent here.

Hope I like them as much as I like these.

The Wilner Letter Writing Service

Somewhere in the archives is a post in which I wrote about how my father once discussed opening a small business with me where we would be employed to write letters for people.

The idea was that we could help people write businesses about issues that concerned them and in turn we would get paid for it.

I was in my late twenties when he brought it up and at the time I wasn’t sure if I saw the value but more importantly I was so determined to be my own man I wasn’t open to it.

Were we to have the the conversation today I would have a very different approach and more than 30 years of business experience to apply to whether it is/was a good idea or not.

The funny thing is when I think about it I have written letters for people and even wrote most of a paper in college for a friend.

Some time back my friend Johnny asked me if I could help him write a letter to a woman he thought might be one of the great loves of his life.

He was surprised when I gave him something that looked similar to this:

Dear June,

I don’t know what to do about you because I am unclear on where your head is at. Pick one of the following:

A) I have no interest in you at all. Get on with your life.

B) I have feelings for you but your life is too complicated as things stand and I don’t want any more complications in my own. I don’t want you making changes for me but if you did I might be open to conversation down the road.

C) I am trying to figure out my own life and what I want to do with it. I need time to figure that out and will not make any promises about what might or might not happen.

D) Send me a copy of reservations for a trip to Maui and we can talk.

He asked me if I had ever sent such a letter out and had success with it. I told him that I hadn’t but I could provide other references.

When he asked me what those were I told him about a letter I wrote to a girl when I was 21. “I don’t remember all of the details, but I thought it was romantic and apparently she did too. She started dating another guy at the camp who shared the same first name as me.”

Johnny laughed and asked if I knew for certain she started dating Josh. I said no and that it could be a coincidence but it made for a great story.

“Ok, share another reference.”

I told him I sent a note to a woman saying I thought the new guy could be named Wolfie the second and that I had no understanding of what she saw in him.

I thanked her for hurting my heart and said I was proud of not letting my mouth get me in trouble.

“And what was the outcome? You’re not going to tell me that went well. You didn’t manage to flip the script or whatever they call it.”

I shook my head and said she cut off contact and that I suffered the consequences of heartache for an indefinite amount of time.

“Josh, that is not the kind of reference you give if you want business and what the hell does the suffering the consequences of heartache for an indefinite amount of time mean?”

That made me laugh and I told Johnny sometimes you get what you pay for. If you don’t give me a dime don’t expect the ultimate letter and let’s be real, I don’t know enough your woman to tailor it as well as you might want.

Who she is today may not be who you once knew and she may not have figured that out herself. It is the joy of being fifty something.

Write Without Fear

My LinkedIn picture is from 2013. Several of my colleagues have noted they don’t think I look anything like that guy anymore.

I almost replaced it today with the shot I shared above but it is not of a professional nature and I don’t see a burning need to update things.

Though I do appreciate their noting that time and experience has changed me.

I shave my head down to a level the Marine corps would appreciate for their new recruits and then I let it go for a bit.

The top front of my hair won’t match the look in that picture anymore and I don’t particularly like the way it looks.

Some people have suggested I experiment with something like Rogaine to see if I can fill in the gaps because three quarters of my head has not experienced the mutiny of the hair line.

Sometimes I like the idea but I have never tried it because I have earned my stripes. If you knew me back then and haven’t had much interaction with me you’d find that in many ways I am the same but I am also very different.

I want people to like me for who I am today and not because they remember who I was. That is a helpful base to get started off of, but it is not enough.

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That brings me back to the changes in the blog theme and the recognition I have more work to do on this. For a while I was dropping in past posts like the one below because I had removed the archives.

More Changes, More To Come

I restored the archives when I changed the theme last night so now I won’t drop in the links the same way unless I think it adds to what I have written.

My beard is in need of a trim, it is a little scraggly but so is this blog. The guy in the LinkedIn picture was 44 and didn’t have a lick of gray hair anywhere.

That is not the case anymore, the guy in the sunglasses has developed some though when the beard is trimmed it is far less noticeable.

If I were to rid myself of the beard I would look pretty similar to the LinkedIn guy or so I think, others might disagree.

It doesn’t matter because I am not trying to go back in time though if I could there are changes I would make.

But I can’t, I can only move forward and try to become the best version of myself possible. I used to roll my eyes when people said that but I understand it differently now.

I haven’t been writing about building a new future and making changes for nothing.