Maybe It’s A Communication Breakdown

There are several people I haven’t spoken with or had what I consider real communication with in a while.

It is probably tied to some thoughts in A Time For New Beginnings and You Won’t Like My Silence but that is not the entire picture.

I looked in the mirror and told my reflection you can choose to be angry, you can choose to be hurt or you can choose to feel nothing and all are reasonable responses.

But you need to ask yourself if any of it is connected to a communication breakdown and if so, what role did you play.

My reflection didn’t say or do anything other than repeat my words and gestures which was a relief because otherwise I would have been concerned that maybe I am losing it.

You can call me crazy, but I am not that kind of crazy.

So we pointed at each other and said in unison “I can’t fix what I don’t know is broken and I can’t fix that which others don’t want to fix.”

Then we paused and said “be careful what you ask for, because you might get it.”

A Night With The Nephew

My oldest nephew got his dream job with a professional sports team and flew into town earlier today. I picked him up at his hotel and took him and my son out to dinner.

It was a great night and I enjoyed learning about what he does and some of the inner workings of a pro sports team.

But in some ways I had more fun watching the two of them talk. They’re 10 months apart in age and it is fair to say they have known each other their entire lives.

Had my folks been there I would have made some crack about how quickly it all went and how I can picture them in diapers running around the house.

There is joy in watching them talk because they genuinely like each other and enjoy being together. That is not something everyone finds or gets to experience.

I am very cognizant of who I can spend large amounts of time with and who I communicate well with. That kind of thing doesn’t change or die, at best it gets covered up and or forgotten.

But I see it as being especially important for younger people who were impacted by Covid and who have had any sort of digital lifestyle.

Sometimes I worry about that digital lifestyle and what people have or haven’t learned from it.

*****

I have made some very important, life altering connections with people I have met online. There is something to be said to having to learn to get to know someone first with words alone.

But I also come from a generation that walked or rode our bikes to friends houses. I come from a generation that takes pride in telling others “if you have a problem with me, say it to my face.”

Because that is how we operate.

Sure I am good at communicating online. I can write you love letters or send comments that insult your lack of intelligence in ways that scald your brain and burn your eyes.

But there is something different to being able to say things in person.

I have looked people in the eye and said “I love you” or “I hate you and I hope you die” along with everything in between.

People who live their lives primarily in the digital world don’t always learn how to do that and those are critical life skills they miss out on.

Sunsets On What Once Was

Monday night I am driving out to my daughter’s university to join her and the local Hillel for a lecture that sounds interesting.

I always like spending time with her but something about this feels extra special. Maybe it is because I am extra conscious of time moving and it feels like my young woman is growing up so quickly.

Maybe it is because the topic and proximity to my father’s birthday and Rosh Hashanah have me thinking or maybe it is just tied to new beginnings.

I don’t really know and I am not sure that it matters but I am running with the moon now. I am following the heart and thinking about sunsets of what once was.

Tonight as I was leaving the restaurant I heard someone say he has three balls and the response from someone else was, “how does a man have three testicles?”

It made me snort and I remembered hearing a story about how a woman asked her friend for clarification on how many men have.

Can’t say I remember what my response was but there was probably some sort of sarcasm connected to it.

But I thought again about communication and how very important it is in so many areas. And again I asked myself if I have done a good job of communicating what is important to me or have I spent too much time locked in my own world.

Both can be true and both can be wrong too, nothing like a good contradiction in life.

Somewhere in a blog post I wrote elsewhere many years ago I talked about various ways to communicate ideas and now years later I ask myself if anything has changed.