Put This In Your Mouth

When the dentist says “put this in your mouth” there are numerous responses one can come up with but only if you are quick because otherwise it is like talking with your mouth full.

I once sent someone an orchid and then didn’t hear from them for months. Something about that reminds me of Walk The Line but I am not sure why though I have a few ideas.

That led to a different thought in which I thought about some movie in which a character yelled at another character for expecting something from having given a gift.

Took me a while to recognize it definitely tied into Field of Dreams and maybe something else.

The Field of Dreams reference is tied into the point when Terrence Mann is invited to go with the ballplayers into the cornfield and Ray Kinsella gets upset that he’s not included.

It reminded me that when we are our best selves we don’t ever give a gift with any expectation of anything, even a thank you.

The point isn’t to give it to get but to give because you want to with a full heart.

The Quote

I know a half dozen younger widows, some relatively new and some less so. Some of them had no idea it was coming and that their lives would change dramatically so there was no time to prepare.

It is probably worth adding that I know a few widowers too, again some are younger.

At least two of them told me it took them a chunk of time to get to a place where they could consider being with someone new.

They said you don’t just stop loving someone. I heard a similar expression from a divorced friend whose wife left him.

It got me wondering if it was better for the widows or widowers because there was no hope of reconciliation. They had no choice but to move on.

I don’t know what the answer is or if there is a right one. My best guess is it is different for everyone.

****

In a month or so I’ll be home along with all of the grandchildren. I’ll drive by our old house and visit some of my favorite places and maybe look at some homes in areas I’d consider living in.

And I’ll absolutely go visit Dad which has me wondering if all of the grandkids will want to go together. It is five years since we last went collectively to visit him.

I am sure in some ways it will feel very familiar and in some ways strange because there are no little kids anymore.

They’re all on their way into whatever future they are building for themselves and that is a good thing though it is strange to think that my father’s last image of each is stuck in a time gone by.

He won’t be there to celebrate my niece’s college graduation or to tell her about his favorite places in Chicago.

Dad can’t celebrate my son’s promotion or my oldest nephew’s new job. Intellectually it makes sense but it feels a little peculiar.

It will be good to home with all of the family because it helps normalize moving on and his not being there. The fact this even occurs to me helps crystallize how long it has been since we were all back in LA.

We haven’t done it enough for it not to be noticeable yet.

It makes sense but it is an odd feeling.

Running With The Moon

Sometimes you run with the moon and sometimes you dance in the fire. If you are really lucky you may do both at the same time.

Got to head over to the kingdom and clean up some old posts and stuff.

Almost picked up the phone to tell the old man that today marked my 9 year anniversary at the office. Almost forgot about it but I was sent some congratulatory messages.

That was pretty cool. Got me thinking again about how much time I have left before I retire.

In concept it is at least a decade, but that can change based upon a variety of things. Surreal to think that regardless of how much longer I go I am 75% of the way through my career, if not more.

Time moves so very quickly.