The man in Atlanta told me he felt sorry for me that my father didn’t make it to 80 because his was almost 90 and going strong.
I didn’t tell him that I thought he was wrong in almost every way imaginable.
Why?
His father has some sort of severe dementia and hasn’t recognized him in at least a decade. That wasn’t the case with my dad, he knew who all of us were until the end.
I will never forget him saying goodbye to my son or the day he told me to go live a good, happy and healthy life.
Sometimes those memories sting a bit, but I’ll take them because I think if given the choice I prefer the hand we were dealt, but even if I didn’t if wouldn’t matter.
Reminds me of that Glen Campbell song.
The Impact Of Your Thoughts
I thought of heading off to Centennial Park to try and find the brick I paid for during the ’96 Olympics but didn’t get around to it. There will be other opportunities.
Can’t say that I remember what I wrote so I am kind of curious to see what 27 year-old Josh thought was important. Got a few ideas, but can’t say whether they are correct or not.
What I know for certain is I have come to learn that Marcus Aurelius was correct and that’s different from who I was at 27.
That guy would have scoffed at the idea and so many other things. He knew better and undoubtedly would tell me that somewhere between now and then I lost the plot on some things.
I don’t think he would believe half the crap I could tell him, certainly wouldn’t believe that 55 year-old Josh could beat him in almost anything.
But 55 year-old Josh has the benefit of experience. I know everything he did and a lifetime of things he hasn’t ever experienced.
Though I wouldn’t mind getting that 27 year-old body back if for no other reason than the lower miles. Even if I was in exactly the shape I want to be in some things wouldn’t be the same.
It is ok, I have earned my stripes and my scars. Found a couple of new ones recently and laughed because I don’t remember getting them.
Things happen.
Beard has finally grown back and looks like it never left. Suppose that happened a while back, but time is moving so fast I sometimes miss things.
Feels like January was last week but here we are approaching summer at breakneck speed.
Hard to believe my daughter is halfway through her undergrad years and that we’re beginning to dig into serious conversations about next steps.
Hell, my youngest nephew is 18 and finishing high school. Won’t be long before we’re all in California together and the boys can argue about who is officially the tallest.
It is five years since the last time we were all together. The difference in age was the defining factor then. Now there is no doubt the granddaughters have been overtaken by all of the boys, not that it matters.
Letters & Words Upon A Page
I put some more thoughts down about plans and ideas because I wanted to be deliberate in how I move ahead. Wanted to make sure that my ideas were clarified and measured against something I could use for accountability.
Reached out today on a different topic and asked for someone to give me some guidelines on a couple of things or to be prepared for me to take action.
I am tired of the silence and being asked to just guess so I drew the line in the sand and said enough.
They told me they would try to get something more than ambiguous remarks and I said thank you.
But I followed up with text about next steps and then called to make sure it had been read.
“I know how to make things happen and am uninterested in being told to do more while being throttled. I’ll wait for a response and then I’ll do things my way.”
Felt like a relief to put that out there.
****
Took a look around and saw more friends and people I know becoming grandparents, getting divorced and or getting remarried.
Took a look around and heard more stories about people moving into bigger homes in places they want to retire and or downsizing because their kids are out.
Growing more uncommon to know people who are my age who still have two living parents and more common to hear people talk about retiring or being close to it.
It is surreal to hear what I used to think of as old person talk come from contemporaries so I guess we must be becoming older people.
Don’t feel old but don’t feel that young either.
Went so damn fast, but there is still much to do and experience. Kind of exciting.
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