Maybe Life Isn’t As Hard As You Think

“More friends will die and more will get divorced. Some who don’t should and maybe some who did shouldn’t have.  Some answers are as simple as you make them and some are just as complex.

But maybe life isn’t as hard as you think it is.”

Those are words I shared with someone who might not have wanted to hear them and potentially didn’t understand them.

Not sure I would have understood them the way I do now if I hadn’t experienced some of what I have had because there is no substitute for life experience.

None.

Some things cannot be felt nor understood at their base level unless you go through them. I am glad not to understand some of it and hope to never do so because I have had enough to feel like I know a thing or too.

Would be happy to never be proven wrong on that.

Understanding A Harder Heart

I subscribe to Rabbi Daniel Gordis’ substack and have for a number of years. I am one of the thousands who met him at camp and refer to him as Danny.

Not so much because of a friendship because we’re really more acquaintances but when you hear people refer to others a certain way for years it tends to rub off on you.

He taught multiple courses to the staff at camp so I got to hear him speak in person multiple times and that alongside his writing provides a level of trust and comfort.

The quote in the picture comes from this post and is part of a longer interview that is worth reading.

If you look at the situation in Gaza it is heartbreaking for many reasons and it infuriates me that Sinwar is willing to sacrifice so many for evil.

Evil is a strong term but it is applicable. He isn’t trying to set up a moral and good society there.

Anyhoo, this isn’t somewhere I’ll go into depth about what is or isn’t moral. Instead I’ll say I find it sad the war forces me to have a harder heart. I see it as just and necessary even though I don’t have full faith that Bibi is doing what he ought to for all society and not just him.

I don’t wish for or want innocent civilians to die on either side and think we’re in a situation where there is no option but to press on. That doesn’t mean they can’t adjust strategy and take steps to pivot because that is necessary but a unilateral ceasefire is out of the question too.

We need to do whatever we can to bring our people home and to establish deterrence again

And that my friends is also part of why I say whatever is going on in my life isn’t as bad as it could be.

Do I have friends and family in harms way?

Yes, I absolutely do.

But on a daily basis I am not lying awake worried about my children coming home or wondering if my siblings are ok.

No one is shooting at me so it could absolutely be worse and so my role in this is different.

Because people are holding the Jewish people accountable for what happens over there and because of many connections I maintain a constant awareness of the circumstances, situation and news.

Part of my role is to help push back against what happens elsewhere. When Jewish college students are terrorized and or intimidated on campus or Jewish institutions in America are attacked I can help address that.

I can help push the legislature and law enforcement to do things to help and I do.

Keep Climbing

I came across a picture of my then 4 year-old daughter holding onto my left arm and leg as she strove to climb onto my lap.

The shot is from my parents’ house and I am sitting on the couch next to my father. I have my left hand cradling the right side of her body while I hold a cup of coffee in my right hand, my mouth slightly agape.

I am guessing the camera caught me in mid sentence.

Dad is animated, one hand gesturing as he clearly is involved in a conversation with someone outside of the frame.

Part of what strikes me is the look of determination on my daughter’s face. There isn’t any doubt in her mind that she is going to end up on the couch.

I still see that look, albeit on a much more mature face.

I need to ask her if I have said Keep Climbing or Keep Fighting as often as I think I have.

Might need to mention I say it to myself and have done so for years because I have and I do. Comes out more frequently when I feel poorly and think I need to accomplish something in spite of my physical condition.

I am not good at just giving up when it comes to some things and some people.

Sometimes you have to fight through to that other side because you deserve to see what life looks and feels like when you can feel the warmth of the sun upon your back.

Especially when you know there is a clock that you can’t outrun forever. Sooner or later things change, people move on, walk away or die.

At least that is how it works with me.