We’re Going To Hang Out Soon

The younger Mr. Wilner covered dinner tonight and smiled back at me as I thanked him for his generosity.

We were on our way back from Best Buy where he picked up replacement headphones for a pair that had worn out and I thought back upon moments like this where I had been the son and not the father.

Got me thinking about a million different moments and memories and a conversation with my sister about the Israeli kid who has spent summers living in her home.

He was called up and is in harms way along with so many others we know. Every day she looks for a message from him and worries about his safety.

I get it, I understand better than I want to.

I saw a video where I watched the soldiers promise each other, ‘we’re going to hang out soon’ and thought about some of the army weddings I have seen.

Those are exactly as they sound, weddings that take place on army bases and I think about how hard it must be.

When you look at someone and think “there goes my air” and wonder if you will see them again. You can do your best to move heaven and earth but there are no guarantees.

So you say things like we’re going to hang out soon because when the future is uncertain you don’t get too far ahead of yourself, you just take your time and see where it plays out.

Old Heads On Young Shoulders

I can’t tell how old the brides and grooms are in the videos of the army weddings I have watched. I am guessing I probably have around 30 years or so on them but who knows.

Had several conversations with my kids in which I walk away kvelling with pride and beaming from ear to ear but still thinking about how you can’t screw old heads onto young shoulders.

You can’t make up for life experience and sometimes when I talk about things I have been a part of for 20 years and am just getting to a point where there is discussion about a bigger picture their eyes roll.

I don’t blame them because mine did too when I was their age.

When their grandfather spoke about how long it took to get as much vacation as he had I would grind my teeth.

Well guess who know has a chunk of paid vacation and the ability to do things at work they wish they could do.

Yeah, not really much of a question because I am that guy. Nor is it a surprise that I got it because I worked hard to get here and there were times when I wondered if it would happen.

So I do what I can to impart whatever wisdom I can upon them and hope that it is helpful and sensible.

Unfriended

A guy who lacks compassion, sechel and self-awareness unfriended me tonight because he took issue with words I wrote on Facebook regarding Israel and antisemitism.

He made some remark about Jewish whining and I pushed back at him in a way that made it clear that I held no respect for his position.

What he said was ridiculous and I was more bothered by his being Jewish and saying it than if he hadn’t been.

I don’t know if unfriended me after the first response to his comments or the second. My ego wants to believe it was after reading the second response because he felt shamed, embarrassed, foolish and ignorant.

If I had to guess it was after the first because he is cowardly and thought to shout his insult and then run away without giving time for a response.

But I hope it was the second because my ego wants to feel like I got him and got the last word.

It is childish of me but I own it.

Doesn’t really matter, won’t make anything better and fortunately won’t make anything worse.

What I am taking from all this is a reminder of the importance of telling those you care about that you love them and that you do what you can to spend time with those who are important.

I recognize I repeat myself and that some may feel like I am hammering the message home. Perhaps that is true/

Perhaps I have eight million questions based upon gut feelings and instinct. Perhaps I am confident in sitting in the silence and just seeing what happens because some things just are.

Don’t know, just going off of that aforementioned gut instinct and having seen the chaos of the last week or so it influences some things.

So I write about much of it and consider the future and ideas of where I want to be one day.

The kids talk about it and mention bits and pieces about places and things they would like to see and do. I appreciate that.

I have had time to do much they haven’t yet, but there is so much more I want to do.

Got to take it all one step at a time for now and I am ok with that but mostly I enjoy giving myself a chance to dream a bit.

It took a chunk of years to get to this place in my career and to be able to visualize a time when the kids really are mostly on their own because we’re on the verge of it.

Been a hell of a ride.