I Won’t Wait Forever For Changes

I walked into the kingdom listening to Johnny sing Hurt knowing what would come along with it. Doesn’t take an expert to know that certain things would set my thoughts on a particular path.

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

and

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I’m still right here

Dove into the fire and let it embrace my entire body and being within the heat welcoming the familiar ache because it was better to confront than avoid.

Took a deep breath, centered myself and made the promise to myself that I won’t wait forever for changes. If nothing of substance comes about it will be time to close up shop and roam through new pastures.

Been through a crazy president, various forms of civil unrest, a pandemic and now war in Europe. I may move at my own pace through fire, storm and calm but it doesn’t mean I ignore the obvious.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed and I am here to live…now.

The Joy Of Happy Children

The kids both got new jobs and I have taken great pleasure in the joy of happy children. Watched them work through difficult situations and was very pleased with how well they weathered their respective storms.

Took some doing on my part not to go deal with some people whose bad behavior merited time with me. Didn’t do it because the benefit of the kids knowing they did it on their own far outweighed my interceding.

The life experience, confidence and self esteem gained will serve them for the rest of their lives so I am good with that.

Ok, I am stretching the truth a little bit. I very much wanted to share a few words. My voice is still deeper and words sharper than theirs and frankly I was willing to get nasty.

Shared that with someone and they said that would have been a sign of low character and I said it is easy to speak with you’re child free.

Pet’s don’t count.

My dogs have always been a part of the family. I miss the ones that have crossed that rainbow bridge and love the theory that when we die every dog that has been a part of our lives will be there to greet us.

The thought always makes me smile, even though I am eminently skeptical about its likelihood.

But my furry kids/siblings are not the same as my actual children. Different relationships and you’ll never find me taking a different stand.

Anyhoo, watching how happy and light they are just makes me smile and it makes me wonder what else they’ll do.

These won’t be their final destination and I am sure they’ll continue to surprise me with the accomplishments yet to come.

*****

College admissions continue to come in and various financial aid packages come along with them.  It is a mixture of excitement and frustration because some of them just aren’t realistic.

The cost of some isn’t problematic, it is prohibitive.

There is no value in taking on ridiculous amounts of debt for an undergraduate degree. I am not a huge fan of big debt for an MBA, JD or something in medicine either.

There is a balance in there of a reasonable investment in a future and that I am good with but damn if this isn’t more complicated than it ought to be.

It will get done but the few gray hairs upon my head and within my beard may end up sharing space with newcomers.

Hard to believe how fast it all went.

Mel Brooks

Been listening to Mel Brooks autobiography “All About Me” on a daily basis and will be disappointed when I finish it.

Mel has been a part of my entire life and his comedy doesn’t just make me laugh, it reminds me of people long gone.

It is a warm feeling that makes me smile.

The benefit of listening to the audio version is that Mel is the narrator so it feels personal and intimate. Not hard to think of it as if we are sitting in the same room and he is telling his stories to me.

We’re in the midst of his Young Frankenstein recollection and the good man hasn’t just made me laugh, he has provided an education.

Some of it is on storytelling and some is trivia that I am not sure I ever knew. Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein was married to Percy Bysshe Shelley, the poet I quoted above.

Don’t think I knew that and if I did, I forgot it long ago.

Made me wonder if she was his muse, haven’t done any research on it.

Reminds me of Robin William’s character in Dead Poet’s Society who leaves us with a very fine ending to this post.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, ‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?’ Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?