Been wrestling with directions, comments, thoughts and what words to share. Got Jim singing The Hard Way Every Time and It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way cuz sometimes music greases the wheels.
And sometimes you just have to start pounding the keyboard to see what lies upon the screen so that you may get your thoughts upon the page.
Watched a few newscasts, saw familiar faces and thought about the expressions we know and those we think we know. There are worlds inside worlds and though some intersect there are times when not all do and you look through a window.
Maybe this is where the art of dancing in the fire comes from and maybe it is not. There is no single path to the next step but that doesn’t preclude moments of irritation, self doubt and questions about whether you are the sucker.
That is just how it goes and if you need to fake it for a bit you can because you know the truth proclaimed in Fiddler On The Roof, even a poor tailor is entitled to some happiness. Cue Wonder of Wonders and then move on.
Some Things We’re Certain Of
Got Otis Redding playing and I am nodding my head because there are some things we’re certain of even if we don’t get the opportunity to experience and or demonstrate.
I am a man of great experience and I can prove every word I say. That is not bragging, that is confidence based upon experience. There is a difference.
Still we have to face certain realities based upon constructs others adhere to and our collective willingness to take those on.
Maybe we’re a sucker and maybe we’re something more, something else. The trick isn’t to hold still and view the challenge from the same perspective.
Nor is it to keep pounding your fists bloody against walls that don’t respond to such thing.
So I am going to get on the plane and take a look at things from 36,000 feet and then revisit from the beach, the mountains and a spot or two in Encino.
Answers shall come and if they don’t, well maybe the old man will engage in some conversation when I visit his resting place.
Of course he could choose not to and tell me it is on me to figure it out and I’d do that. If nothing else I’ll get my hands on some of the tools we used to work around the house and that will undoubtedly unlock a few things.
There are lots of ways to unlock creativity and to see things you missed.
Layers Upon Layers
It got cold enough here in North Texas for us to get a reasonable amount of snow. Not enough to impress those who grew up in places where it is common but it is big for here.
Unlike the last time we didn’t lose power and with some luck we won’t. That is a different experience than others had.
Went to bed a little before one last night figuring that if the power went out it would wake me up again. Was pleased to wake up after a full night of rest and looked out the window to see a soft flurry falling.
Grabbed a pair of Crocs I use around the house and walked outside to see what it looked like. It was around 20 or so and I forgot for a moment that I was in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt.
Tilted my head up and looked at the sky and said “I told you I can handle the cold” because I can. It is not particularly enjoyable for me, but I am built to take on the storm.
Still I made a point not to be out for more than a couple of minutes because I didn’t want to see if the lack of layers would bite me.
Given the drop in my 401k I am going to be working for a chunk of years more so getting sick isn’t ideal, not that it ever is.
Though I did play around with trying to figure out if I could up with a couple of bucks to make some more investments in a few places while the market is down.
That made me laugh a bit because it is not enough to make the kind of killing some people brag about but it is pretty damn exciting to me.
Why?
Because I took that damn beating for so long and kept going. Because I fought my way back from 20,000 leagues below and I am here.
I may look a little worn and weathered and more like a middle aged guy than almost middle aged, but I earned it.
The wrinkles and scars, they are my badge. They are my proof of service and resume of time served. There is merit in that.
Cross The Line
Got ten million new stories that some of you haven’t heard and perhaps never will. Got ten million tales of adventure, sorrow and heartbreak alongside of victory.
Got a guy who told me I can’t do certain things the way I am trying to do them because he can’t see to the right or left.
Told him I’ll take him over the line and into the twilight lands and bring him back again whether he likes it or not.
Didn’t earn a lot of points by saying it or by pointing out the expressions we know that come from saying such things out loud.
But I am not here for points or approval.
And so goes the revolution.
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