Throw It Away

My almost middle aged body betrayed me again the other day and head went to war with all of the parts that declared mutiny.

“Doc says we can get you scoped and cut out. It is just a matter of time. Remember ‘I take this potch and throw it away.’ Nothing has changed, I will not relent.”

Mutiny went on for a little bit longer and then I beat it down. Made a mental note to check out the guy in Grapevine versus the guy in Southlake and started mapping out the next trip.

Going on a tour of East Texas and North Louisiana soon along with stops in Austin, Houston and about 37 other places.

Somewhere I can feel my grandfathers stir and the echoes of stories of their time traveling around the state.

Memories of my Dad using the hose to clear the snow from the driveway make me laugh.

He was seven or eight and by the time grandpa got home the water had frozen and the car skidded straight into the house.

I know it happened, but damn it doesn’t fit the guy I think of. That man never missed a chance to make sure I measured twice and cut once.

Good lesson, but hard, especially since it is not my nature.

I’ll Catch You

Circle back 10,000 years and you’ll find me climbing the tree in the backyard and jumping onto the roof of the house where no one would find me.

Somewhere in the mix there is a moment we’re at family camp at U.C.S.B. and I am in a tree but not sure if I can get down.

Dad tells me to jump, “I’ll catch you.”

I do and he does. It is one of a 1,000 memories of family vacations in Santa Barbara. Year after year, summer after summer we’d go up and then came time when I was of age and we’d go up for parties.

Walking down D.P. in I.V., crashing in apartments of people who were a friend of a friend of a friend.

Getting kicked out of one for throwing out a guy who was on a bad trip and so many other images float through my head.

I have lived a life, some of it quite good and some less good but there are stories.

****

The music break is a mix of things that make me think and send my mind in different directions.

I have seen my city burn and witnessed it shake but everything feels different than it did in my early and mid twenties.

So I write letters and share thoughts and take a different sort of risk in search of answers.

It is a Wild World and if you let it a damn scary one, but then again there is reason for hope and for optimism.

Sometimes you find a spark and it lights up the night and if you have the courage you can take some time and see where it leads.

Could be dark, but then again it could be pretty damn light. Can’t know if you don’t look.

Sometimes you just need that one thing to motivate you, it can be hokey and it be goofy. But if you find it and it works for you, well that is enough isn’t it.