I always figured that Johnny would tell June this song was always part of how he felt about her. It is impossible for me to know if there is truth to this or not so I just accept it as being true.
It is kind of silly really for me to wonder or think about it because they are gone now, but you can’t know what a person thinks or feels without speaking with them.
And even if you do, there is no guarantee you’ll hear what lies underneath the surface. Hell, a girl once told me she would never be the first person to say I love you.
I asked her once if she ever worried about missing an opportunity because off that.
“What if the guy was afraid to say something?”
“Guys are supposed to pursue us, I am traditional that way.”
I looked at her and said I didn’t believe it.
“You told me about men you pursued.”
“Sometimes men are a little slow, so you have to help them figure it out.”
“In other words, you chase them too.”
I don’t remember her exact response but it was clear she refused to agree with me even though I was right.
Maybe it is because I would have put it on a t-shirt.
Johnny Looks At June
I tried using two different programs to see if they made an impact on obtaining a new car and got a bunch of calls about the Costco and Perks-at-Work pricing from 1,984,322 sales people.
The calls and emails came at hyper speed but since I had done my homework it was easy to figure out who offered opportunity and who offered noise.
“Mr. Wilner this is Flip Flop from Coventry Chaos Motors and we have a great offer for you. Can you please come see me today?”
“Hi Flip Flop, I have already received pricing for these two models with these two trim levels. Can you match or beat those? If you can’t do so or offer some other perk it is best we don’t waste time.”
“Mr. Wilner, if you can make a decision before June 1 I am certain I can make you happy.”
“Flip flop, I am looking at June as a personal deadline but I don’t have to do anything if the deal won’t make me happy.”
“So come in and I am sure we can make you happy.”
“Flip Flop, I am going to see Solo with my family and I will come by after provided you can match or beat the pricing I shared.”
“Please come by and we’ll send you out with a smile.”
“Flip, I’ll do that. Please send me a written quote to my email that confirms pricing before I arrive.”
After I hang up I look at my son and tell him they aren’t going to send me the email.
“How do you know?”
“He never used specifics with the numbers I gave. He just pushed to get me in. I’ll go because it is almost next to the theater and on my way home. I can blow through there if I want to and if nothing else it will make me more confident about the pricing I already received.
This isn’t about trying to ‘beat’ or break the dealer. That is not going to happen. It is about feeling good about the decisions we make because we are educated and informed. They can still go south for a variety of reasons, but if they do you’ll know you did your best to prevent that.
We can usually live with those things…if they happen.”
My old man is doing well now.
Superstition almost prevents me from writing that because things can turn on a dime.
The last couple of conversations have felt normal. He sounds good and feels sharper.
I rack my brain to figure out what I should ask him about now when his mind is clear and not fuzzy from chemo or any of the other things that can impact it all.
What don’t I know or what have I forgotten that I should ask about?
Part of me doesn’t want to go there because I want to just live in this particular moment and not worry about the what ifs.
“Your granddaughter won an award at school. They are going to present it next week. I need to buy some more tools to teach your grandson how to do a few more things around the house.”
For a moment he forgets we don’t live in LA anymore.
“Don’t waste money on tools that I have. Come over and take what you need.”
“Ok, be there in July.”
We both laugh and go back to talking about the car I am thinking about buying.
Sunday night rolls around and I take a few minutes to watch an episode of Season 2 or Fauda and a few minutes of Ken Burns miniseries on The Civil War.
Sometimes I wonder how close we or aren’t to something much worse than school shootings.
The grifter in the White House is inclined to stir things up and push for any kind of distraction to cover his ass.
Too many people believe all he says and refuse to consider the possibility that where there is smoke there is fire and that an arsonist is in the oval.
It makes me wonder what sort of things I should be teaching my children beyond the stuff I already do.
The events of the day provide multiple teaching moments–might as well make use of them.
Maybe it is all bullshit, the words upon this page.
Maybe this is just mental masturbation or maybe there is a little bit more here than that. Maybe there is the same magic Bruce writes about here.
I like to think so and so do millions of others and in this case I don’t mind being one of the crowd.
There is magic in the music and maybe if I am lucky it is the sort that a man can hitch a cart to and draft off of.
Never know unless you try.