The Sex You Used To Have

Back in the gym for the first time in far too long with clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right I slowly begin swinging iron around, willing sleeping muscles to wake up.

None of the songs below were part of the workout but all are part of this particular post at this particular time.
Outlaw State Of Mind– Chris Stapleton
Beer For My Horses ft. Willie Nelson– Toby Keith
Drinks After Work– Toby Keith
Extreme Ways– Moby
Stuck In The Middle With You – Stealers Wheel

The Sex You Used To Have

Two guys are doing a better job of pretending to throw the weights around than exercising but I don’t care.

As long as you aren’t sitting on a machine I want to use or using the only set of weights I need you probably won’t hear from me because I am going to get in and do my thing.

Except this time I can’t because they are talking so loudly I hear half the conversation over the music I am listening to.

Instead of listening to Iron Maiden I have some yahoo talking about the sex he used to have and complaining he and his girlfriend aren’t quite doing things the way he wishes.

We make eye contact and he asks me if I understand what he is talking about and I shake my head no.

“You have to share your secret with me. C’mon brother, you look like you are around my age. What’cha doing?”

“How old are you?”

“I am 38.”

That makes me laugh and when he asks what is so funny I tell him I’ll be 49 in a few months.

“If you think 38 is old you ought to see what 11 years does.”

“So help a brother out, tell me what you are doing. Are you using a pill?”

“I wink and smile. Find a woman from Cleveland.”

“What does that mean?”

“That’s for you to figure out. Are you done with your set? I want to get in before I get cold, it is a bitch getting older.”

He moves out of the way and I pump out three quick sets, silently cursing myself for having taken too much time off.

I am going to hurt tomorrow.


Later on I’ll hit one of the Cybex Cross Trainers and do my best to distract myself while I try to put in 30 solid minutes.

I have heard these are great for for cardio, strength training and weight loss in with low impact on our backs and knees.

Knock on wood my back and knees are pretty good, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to do what I can to take care of them.

So as I push myself to go harder and longer I start wondering why so many guys talk about the sex they used to have as if they once were Casanova and have since turned into Costanza.

That is not how I want to live my life. Don’t want to spend all my time talking about how much better things used to be.

Don’t want to focus on all that I used to have or be able to do when there is so much life left to live. What is there to look forward to.

Intermixed with wiping sweat off of my head and silent reminders not to push too hard too soon I wonder if Seinfeld ever did a routine on this.

Music Break

Simple Man– Lyrnrd Skynrd
Have You Ever Seen The Rain?– Creedence Clearwater Revival
Nights In White Satin– The Moody Blues
Layla– Eric Clapton
Wish you were here live-David Gilmour

Automotive Escapades

The universe heard I figured a few things out and that I was three steps closer to my goal so it threw a new roadblock at me.

“Josh, there is something wrong with the van.”

I walked out, turned it on and was quickly reminded what it is like to drive a car without power steering, except the last time I did that it was because my ’69 Dodge Dart Swinger didn’t come with it.

Took a moment to try to figure out if the power steering pump had failed knowing this is a weak spot on my Honda and discovered that wasn’t it.

Stared at the engine and thought about possibilities and wondered if I could fix it myself and realized that even if I can, I don’t have the tools to do it.

For a brief moment I thought about making an investment and then opted against it because it didn’t make sense to spend my cash on tools when I don’t have the time to pull it apart and figure out what isn’t working the right way.

So we took it in again and discovered a pulley had failed and a belt had been thrown.

Technically it should be a relatively simple repair except for one thing.

The labor.

You can’t just reach in and make a simple adjustment. You have to take time to take things apart and then put it back together and that is not a 15 minute job.

So it is good that I didn’t attempt to fix it on my own. Good that I didn’t get too deep into something that might be biting off a little much for me, but frustrating because I am spending a chunk more than I want to.

But that is not going to stop me, at best it will slow me down.

Of course it came during the California girls visit so instead of buckling down for a day to use one car we had to go rent one.


Don’t mess with me universe, I am not in the mood and I will fuck you up.

Ok, the latter half of that is a bit of an exaggeration, especially since the universe isn’t a person but the first part is spot on.

I am not in the mood and I am determined to go forward so getting in my way will only make for an ugly moment.

What Is Coming And When

An old acquaintance tells me he is frustrated that people won’t accept Trump as president and says his side is better because they didn’t complain about Obama.

I tell him I wasn’t a fan of all of Obama’s policies, especially foreign and add that I never felt like he was a corrupt man determined to fleece America to line his own pockets.

He responds by telling me that Trump has cut thousands of regulations and that I ought to be happy about that and I shake my head.

Don’t tell me that cutting regulations we know nothing about is automatically good. Cutting for the sake of cutting is reckless and unreasonable.

I want to know what is being cut and why because without that I have no way to begin to understand whether cutting is a good thing or not.

Not every regulation is bad or useless. Some protect us all from things that would make our life worse if we didn’t have those protections.


Someone else asks me if I have a plan for my writing and wonders if I ever worry about producing bad posts.

I tell him I don’t like most of what I write and that I am following my north star and a song that only I can hear.

Don’t know where it is going to lead me, but I can’t ignore it.

I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won’t take the easy road

Silver Lining- First Aid Kit

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