The telephone rings and I tell the person on the other end I have seen the past and future and that she is a part of it.
“I need to tell my oldest nephew how much he looks like I used to and to take a good look at Uncle Josh’s hairline because it’s coming.”
“It is true. Sometimes when I look at him I feel like you are haunting me.”
“Little sister, you know I am going to tell your son that described him as being scary looking.”
She doesn’t react or respond, 46.5 years of enjoying the pleasure of being related has made her virtually immune to my comments.
The thing is neither one of us is kidding, my oldest nephew really looks an awful lot like I did when I was pushing 18 and not middle age.
It’s Provocative But Not Revolutionary
The message I hoped not to get came in this afternoon proving again that thoughts and prayers don’t always work with the sort of efficacy we’d like.
Expectations are funny things and there is no single way to respond. Some advocate keeping them low so you are never disappointed and some talk about something higher they describe as reasonable.
At the moment I don’t care what your routine is because that message…hurt.
I took a few minutes to consider what I had heard and mulled over responses. One thought repeated itself over and over, “It’s provocative but not revolutionary.
That Long & Winding Road
By 5:30 I had reached the place beyond antsy but not quite stir crazy and left to hit Trader Joe’s and Costco.
When things happen my inclination is to try and take control of the situation. I might not be able to push the river back but I can steer my kayak around and or through the rapids.
But sometimes you need to follow the proverbial ‘slow your roll’ and take a moment to consider what you can and what you should do which is why I headed out to do some shopping.
Midway there I remembered there was an event that might do a better job of distracting me and headed off to hear a political candidate share his ideas.
Initially I was excited because not only would it be a good distraction but it would also help provide a crash course in Texas politics.
If I am going to live here I have to be familiar with the issues so that I can do my part to contribute.
And then life did as it is wont to do…it surprised me,
I got another call and then I got hit with a double dose of bashful and was reluctant to just walk in. I almost left as soon as I arrived but a wave of irritation hit me.
Wave is probably the wrong word, tsunami would be more accurate and I knew I would require more than a moment to decompress before I braved the crazed Costco shoppers and nightmarish Trader Joe’s aisles.
Which is kind of funny because neither is remotely close to as crowded as their LA counterparts.
So I walked in, ordered a drink and then listened to what the man had to say. I was too far to hear much but close enough to think, It’s Provocative But Not Revolutionary.
Given the current political climate I suspect that is probably a good thing.
His positions are strong enough to catch your ear but not so out there people would fear voting for him and that is a good thing.
I saw the past, the present and the future today.
Not all of it was pleasant, some of it was as ugly as it comes. Moments where you face a very unpleasant truth and ask if this is how it is going to be.
It felt like I took one in the nether regions and another shot to the mouth and for a moment I wondered if I deserved it.
Maybe certain choices led to a place where this was the logical conclusion and then I remembered I am not the reasonable man who just accepts what is fed to him.
Some things can’t be changed. I can’t go backwards or apologize for missed opportunities but I can do my best not to make them again.
So I’ll just make like Elvis and do what I can to keep dreaming and see if maybe I can’t learn to fly.
With a little luck and some work I’ll be better at it than Ralph from The Greatest American Hero ‘cuz I am too damn old to keep crashing into buildings.