The bad news of the evening is I am about $998,000 away from being a millionaire but the good news is that doesn’t take into account all of my accounts, stocks, bonds and possessions.
Add those to the pile and I think that number jumps quite a bit closer to one million. Don’t take this as gospel, but that number is more like $997,743.03 away.
74 Imagine how happy the Equifax hackers will be if they managed to get my information. Congratulations you just qualified to get a new credit card with a line of $273 dollar, try not to spend it all at one time or in one place.
Words Best Left Unsaid
“Josh, I want to talk with you. Come fill me in.”
“No, you really don’t and if you don’t immediately understand why you can come closer and I’ll enlighten you.”
“Does that mean you plan on hitting me or are you just going to be nasty?”
“I’d be happy to watch you bang your head against a wall. I might even get you a bag of ice or help you obtain about 938 paper cuts that you can dip into a bowl of Tabasco sauce.”
“Josh, you have a great sense of humor. I love how snarky you can be.”
“I am smiling because I like the idea of you banging your head against the wall. Try to pick a spot that has a point so you can self lobotomize yourself.”
“That is kind of nasty.”
“It is not supposed to be kind.”
I am a new age diplomat who believes that sometimes the best way to affect change is by use of devices and tools that influence and motivate to people to adjust their attitude and behavior.
The talking heads say that you get more flies with honey and that sometimes it is better use the carrot than the stick but I take a different approach.
I like using the carrot as a stick. It saves time and gives you the opportunity to promote healthy living.
Just remember not to use said carrot to knock out teeth because that would screw things up.
I think I have proven this but I have to admit I have never said what “I won’t do that is.”
But before we go on, let’s take a moment to sing along.
Some days it don’t come easy
Some days it don’t come hard
Some days it don’t come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you’re breathing fire
Some nights you’re carved in ice
Some nights you’re like nothing I’ve ever seen before or will again
Maybe I’m crazy, but it’s crazy and it’s true
I know you can save me, no-one else can save me now but you
And Now Back To Our Story
The challenge with the master of headbanging lies in two places:
- A limited ability to understand what they have don’t wrong/
- Support for the bad behavior from some very sick people.
Conventional warfare won’t work here nor will using targeted nukes.
Can’t call Tony Soprano and have them whacked or tell Lee Dumbass to go tell them a story that would inevitably leave them catatonic.
So we have to come up with a different option.
At the moment it is a tough assignment primarily because I am working on 8 hours of sleep over three days.
So I am going to wrap this up and share tales of Bar Mitzvah boys and their teenage cousins at a later date ‘cuz this lack of sleep thing isn’t as easy as it used to be.
See you around.