Sometimes The Stupidity…It Burns

“Tell your father he doesn’t get to make these decisions and that his doing so might be indicative of narcissism and or declining mental faculties. Given his history of poor decision making it might be best if he played in traffic or gargled bleach.”

Ok, the first line is close to verbatim to a text I sent and the second, well I cannot confirm or deny saying such things.

Instead I will assure you that a big brother never stops looking out for his little sisters and that his middle sister is just as relentless in supporting the youngest.

If you’d like you can say it is the Animal House attitude of “you can’t do that to our pledges, only we can do that to our pledges.”

Or if you feel like a bolder approach you can say we follow the Chicago way as illustrated in The Untouchables.

The stupidity of it all…it burns and if life were fair it would be legal to drop a rabid squirrel down the front of a certain person’s trousers and or give them a colonoscopy with a barbed pole.

But it is not so I am going to have to reward his bad behavior with a couple of conversations and a request to act like a man.

That is really a ridiculous request and the kind of remark that makes me roll my eyes but there is a time and place.

Too bad there isn’t a legal place for a boot to the head because a couple people require it as a way to restore sense and civility.

Indecision Is a A Bad Choice

Yesterday I got a hard dose of reality and discovered I hadn’t made as much progress in some areas as I had thought I had.

It was a painful realization to see how I looked in certain pictures and to recognize I had failed to meet some goals I had set.

I worked my ass off, er I tried to work my ass off and in spite of the hard work it just didn’t go as I had thought.

There are bigger problems and failures than that but for a moment it really sucked.

For a moment it was among the most disheartening things to happen because it is under my control, more or less

There are some changes due to age and some challenges that are tied into the mileage but it is not like other areas where I am forced to accept limited control.

It took a bit for me to stop moping and to regroup but I did it and then I took action.

Looked in the mirror and told the reflection indecision is a bad choice and that we would resume pushing ourselves.

Walked almost 5 miles in 98 degree weather and stumbled back into the house a giant sweaty mess.

And if you believe the weather report on my iPhone that 98 actually felt like 108. I don’t know how accurate that is, but I know I am Valley raised and have spent most of my life enjoying the heat.

Don’t know much from regular experience in snow, but heat, we are real tight.

Where Are We Going & How Do We Get There?

A Facebook friend posted a status update about how we have given too much attention to the nazis in Charlottesville and how there are bigger threats.

I didn’t tell him too many people act like Jewish blood is cheap or share the story of the synagogue members in Charlottesville who walked out the back of the synagogue because they feared for their safefty.

Why?

Because his comments on this and other things made me believe he wouldn’t hear what I said so I decided to spend my energy elsewhere.

Besides, I posted about it several times and figured there was a good chance he read my update and chose not to respond because the past few engagements have gone nowhere.

But that is not what I am thinking about now.

I am thinking about whether I would have insisted on walking out the front doors of the synagogue to make sure those jerks understood that it is not 1930, 1887 0r 1738.

We don’t run from pogroms in America and we don’t let them happen.

I am not sure how many of my fellow tribesmen are handling the situation in Europe or how capable they are of pushing back the way we can here.

It is impossible not to feel gratitude for that freedom and anger for those who don’t share it. It is also impossible for me not to be infuriated at the thought of walking through the back and shame that we live in a country with so much stupidity.

It burns.

But it is also impossible not to believe there are more good people than bad and that we are going to find our way through this particular bubble in time.

It is not going to be easy and we are going to have moments of doubt regarding the choices we make.

The Choices We Make

I have been thinking about the choices I have made and am making and am convinced much is coming.

Two weeks ago I swung for the fences and connected but that ball is still in play.

It makes me a little nervous because if it doesn’t clear the fence or land safely in the outfield there may be hell to pay.

Thing is if I didn’t do as I did things could be very ugly today and the only way I could see to avoid that was to try and be a hero.

Can’t help but feel some of this is tied into things from around 14 years ago and maybe longer.

Got this strong sense in the near future I am going to wipe in a place I always knew I would reach and have to decide what to make of it.

Can’t say I fear it but I am quite curious how it all unfolds.

Even though I know things, it is impossible to say for certain here so I just shrug my shoulders and do what I do.

Got to run now and follow up on that text.

Sometimes you have to be relentless so that people who don’t respond understand there is no hiding from some things.

You either act like a man or accept the consequences of your failure.

The stupidity…it burns.

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