I’m sitting at the kitchen table staring at a 10 year-old refrigerator in a way that is far more effective with living creatures.
Cuz the hunk of steel isn’t skeered of my 1000 mile stare and doesn’t wonder if I am the kind of dog whose bark is worse than my bite.
Rod Stewart is singing about Young Hearts remembering to be free tonight and I am temporarily distracted by memory.
The girl in my mind’s eye is like me, pushing 50 but I think she’d appreciate me calling her a girl and not referring to her as an old lady.
Not so sure that she would appreciate the image coming to mind while I wrestle with a large appliance that is mostly behaving as I want it to.
But were she here, I would tell her that she has mostly behaved as I wanted her too…mostly.
Hell, I’d wrestle with her now just as quickly as I jump on the fridge because I persist and because I am really freaking irritated that something so damn simple and easy is suddenly complicated.
Lessons Learned From Women & Appliances
There is a part of me that wants to tear it all open. Speak my mind, rip open the back of the fridge and just have at it.
It is the same part of me that says dive into the ocean and learn how to swim with the waves, the sharks and ships.
Play afraid and you get hurt, be confident and good things come with it.
There is a serious damn difference between people and machines. People may be cold, but generally you can have a conversation with them.
You make a mistake and you can apologize and or explain as they can do with you.
Can’t do that with machines and that’s the part that keeps me from just pulling this thing apart and rebuilding it.
It is not that I can’t fix it afterwards because I am confident I can, but I am not sure it won’t ultimately cost far more in time and money to do that.
I am not sure that I won’t end up feeling so aggravated I want to pick it up and fling it through the window.
Side note, the 10 year-old boy that lives in my head thinks it would be pretty damn cool to pick up the fridge.
That kid never gets tired of picking up heavy shit, probably because it is the one thing we have been able to do without fail our entire life.
Anger Leads To The Dark Side
I’m feeling a little bit feisty and Robbie The Robot is running around inside my head yelling Danger Will Robinson, Danger!
Twenty-five years ago I would have been happy to knock on trouble’s door and say “Warriors come out to play” but there is a kinder and gentler man sitting here.
Except he is a little pissed off and a little frustrated about having to work twice as hard as necessary about some things.
Pissed because the support hasn’t been there and he is tired of lies.
A half dozen years or so ago, when things were as bad as they could be I sat with the boy who calls me dad and used Yoda to get him to think about things differently.
Might as well take a look back.
Please Don’t Die
He asked me not to die when he was 3.5 and then again last night, 16.5 he did it again.
“Dad, I would be very disappointed if you died and so would my sister.”
“I don’t expect to die for a while. I have a lot to do.”
“You know your parents and sisters would be upset too.”
“I would think so. I bet it might aggravate a few people beyond that because they expect I’ll be around forever.”
He sighed deeply and I told him I wasn’t being silly or trying not to take him seriously.
I am looking forward to his coming more than I can say. It has been very hard being away from the kids and I know in some ways he needs me more than ever.
The thing is I have to be far more like a ninja in my approach now because teens are quite different than boys.
Truth is if he were here I might really go after fixing that fridge in a big way because there is a lot to be said for the two of us working together.
But I think I might let this particular repair be done by a professional because the YouTube videos and schematics just aren’t getting it done tonight.
And because I just don’t have patience for it. I am really hungry and wondering if there is a place to get good shawarma here.
I really like living in Texas, but food wise it is still a good step behind LA. Most of the time I don’t notice because it has enough really good food to keep me happy.
But the Mexican, sushi and Middle Eastern just isn’t as good as I am used to.
I’ll keep looking around, never know I might find places that meet the bill.
Damn refrigerator is lucky it is not human.