There is just one more night and whatever remains of this day before I need to get serious about packing to return to Texas.
Technically I am on vacation but I headed back to the cabana to do a little work so that I am not hit with a tsunami of catch-up work.
The voicemail on my work phone is starting to fill with messages from people who ignore my instructions on who to contact while I am away.
Some will be unhappy upon my return because they refuse to follow those aforementioned instructions but I’ll live with that because their emergencies would have been solved if they had listened.
And had I given in they would have been like children who never learned to sleep on their own and would have demanded my attention every day I have been out.
I have done a good job of not letting the electronic leash drag me around and spent more time at the pool with my kids and assorted family members.
Done a pretty good job of compartmentalizing things and haven’t allowed the barbarians at the gate to spend much time enjoying free rent in my head, but it hasn’t been easy.
There have been a few moments where I have slipped a bit and wanted to ride off into battle. I am not always particularly good at just waiting around, especially when faced with certain things.
More Than California Dreaming
At last count I have lived in 2 of the 50 states and visited about 43 of them which means I have some substance behind my belief that my home state California is the most beautiful of them all.
But I also readily acknowledge we all have some bias towards the places that helped form and shape us which is to say, I am biased.
To be clear, I have seen many beautiful places and people elsewhere but it is impossible for me not to put California at the top of my list.
I love the beach, desert and mountains and California has them all. Amazing cities and sights, not to mention exceptional food and people, but California is not where I hang my hat.
Doesn’t mean it won’t one day be that again but there is no way to say when that might be so I do my best to bloom where I am I am planted.
Texas has been pretty damn good to me…mostly.
I like it and that has made some of the transition easier but it doesn’t mean I don’t wish could take a 20 minute trip in the car and visit friends and family who will soon be far away again.
It is part of why I have been looking for a new community to join in Texas because life is about more than California dreaming.
Experience taught me long ago that people have a huge influence on your feelings about where you are.
Given the right circumstances you can feel alone and unhappy anyplace.
You know, find the right soul and all is right wherever you are.
Pablo And Me
I walked under some twinkling stars on a black night and asked Pablo what he thought about the speech I gave the other day.
It wasn’t nearly as good as I had wanted it to be but it wasn’t terrible either.
“Neruda, there wasn’t the flow, contact and connection I had hoped for. It felt like an empty house, a place that had four walls and a door, but was missing the warmth people bring to it.”
He simply smiled and told me to take another swig.
“Josh, tell them to put their hand on your heart and yours upon theirs and let you commune via breathing. Your rising chests will bring the union you seek.”
“Pablo, that sounds like some new age gibberish. I don’t think you understand it either.”
“Don’t ask for cognitive celebration of fact, just let the physical move the mind to the intimacy of the heart.”
This time I was the one who nodded and smiled.
Someone pass me a Jeremiah Red or something close and maybe we’ll share that moment I think he hinted at.
Poetry Of The Eyes
Given a chance I can paint a picture with words and tell a story that might move a person or two.
Can’t say if I can match the poetry of the eyes found in some of the pictures I shared here or if all I need to do is ask you to think of The Golden Gate Bridge, the Redwood Forests or South Padre Island.
What I know is there is an adventure to be had and experiences to be shared but only for the very brave.
I have lived a thousand lives and may yet be blessed to live a thousand more, perhaps we shall write about them in more detail here.