I just finished telling Mr. Dylan about moments in time where it feels like I am living the great contradiction of life.
It is that place where you know that everything you touch is going to work out because you are due for a winning streak and because you know how to get things done.
And it is also that place where you look at the cocky guy in the mirror and tell him he is an idiot because you are an inch away from everything going to hell and there is ample room for things to get worse.
Yeah, it is the intersection of confidence and fear where you know there isn’t any help to be had other than that which you create because you are the cavalry and if you need to be rescued you will have to rescue yourself.
Bob doesn’t reply or acknowledge my existence. He serenades me with Wedding Song, Lay, Lady, Lay and Forever Young, pausing just long enough for me to grab a drink before he rolls out Tangled Up in Blue and Knockin On Heaven’s Door.
I shake my head, close my eyes and think about a beach that is too far to drive to quickly but easily visited by closing my eyes.
A Series Of Adventures & Coincidences
If I look back on the last 14 years or so I can see a bunch of moments where life pulled some shenanigans upon me and proved that truth is stranger than fiction.
It used to make me a little crazy trying to figure out how some things happened because there wasn’t a good explanation.
I finally stopped beating my fists against the wall in search of answers that fit into neat little boxes and decided to accept that life is a series of adventures and coincidences.
It hasn’t always been easy but the more time I focus on not wondering and worrying the happier I am and that is invaluable because sometimes you hang more than 10.
Sometimes you are placed in positions in which you have to let everything hang and hope that the giant risk you just got forced into taking pays off.
That is a good description of how things feel right now and probably why I am not sleeping as well as I would like.
I rolled the dice the other day, looked up at the sky and said, “G-d, I am doing my part, time for you to do yours.”
Can’t say I heard any response or got any signs but I can tell you I am prepared for the chaos that might come, busted up hand and head with a hell of a lot of heart.
Tell Me A Story
I have received a few requests to share some fiction here or at least mix things up by sharing more stories and less thoughts about current events.
That shouldn’t be a problem because I have some fiction I can insert immediately and a few other ideas that I can share here.
Haven’t decided when to roll it out full force but, you’ll see some soon.
That old country doctor said if someone pushed him out of a window he wouldn’t be so quick to get back up because he’d want to make sure nothing was broken and then figure out who he was going to shoot.
Can’t say I blame him because if I had any sense I might have stayed down in the dirt and taken some time to consider how I came to be there and how I might avoid finding myself deposited there again in the future.
But any sense I had or have must have gotten knocked out of me because I bounced down the slope and jumped to my feet and went tearing back towards the house.
Ok, I might not have been running at full speed but I was moving pretty good for a man who had learned first hand flapping his arms wouldn’t keep gravity from introducing him to terra firma.
I was determined to defenestrate the guy who had sent me flying and I would have, except he was a she…