One More Step, One More Chance

I spent the first part of last week trying to make like the lion in the photo above, searching for the sun and a way to enjoy the feel of it upon my back.

That cold that followed me back from Florida didn’t fought me every step of the way and remnants of it have stuck around like unwanted house guests.

I blame them or it for being told that my breathing is heavier than normal but admit part of me wonders if that is all it is.

Why?

Because I can hear myself breathing in a way I have never noticed before but at the same the sound of it reminds me of my father, which in a way is oddly comforting.

One More Step, One More Chance

The seesaw nature of life has been a little rockier than I would prefer lately and I have found myself wondering how I haven’t thrown myself off the edge of a cliff.

Relax, that is just me venting, I am not throwing myself off of any cliffs because all that would happen is I would bruise the hell out of myself and just have to climb back up.

But I am cognizant that in less than a year I have had two root canals, hernia surgery, a dislocated finger and a serious of other nicks, scrapes and bruises.

That doesn’t count multiple moves or some of the other stuff that I never write about here.

In short, I am tired and in need of a vacation but it is clear I have a bit of a journey before I get to take one of those.

So I am gritting my teeth, tightening my belt and pushing myself to take one more step forward, one more chance.

What I Know

Some people have suggested things have been harder because I miss LA and or wondered if I want to go back.

The answer is no, I don’t want to go back. I like living in Texas, this is home.

That is not to say I’ll never live there again because I might, but I might live a lot of other places too.

Life consistently throws challenges and opportunities at us so I won’t make definitive statements about where I might one day be.

What I know is I expected some of this to be hard so certain things are no different than what I anticipated.

But what is hard are some of the things that I couldn’t have guessed would happen or planned for.

Just have to roll with that crap.

Music Break

  • Do You Feel Like We Do– Peter Frampton
  • Show Me The Way– Peter Frampton
  • Your Time Is Gonna Come– Led Zeppelin
  • Come Talk To Me– Peter Gabriel
  • Let’s Go Crazy– Prince
  • Purple Rain– Prince
  • Rhythm Of My Heart– Rod Stewart
  • More Than This– Avalon
  • I Want To Take You Higher– Sly and The Family Stone

Keep Going

I am doing the one thing I know how to do, keep going.

That is why I cleaned the house, did the laundry and went to hear a man talk about drugs and our kids.

Because when you keep going and you keep pushing on ahead good things happen.

It is the kind of lie I always buy into and sometimes that is all that is important.

****

I started watching This Is Us this past Friday night and have been pleasantly surprised by it.

The show hasn’t been cheesy or saccharine sweet the way I thought it might be.

Should I mention that Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas just started singing Bad To Me while I was writing this.

Funny sort of coincidence because that is the sort of song I would expect to hear as part of the soundtrack.

Speaking of soundtracks I hear the beep of the timer which means it is time to turn off the oven and take out the chicken I made for dinner.

This is your favorite wheezing man signing off for dinner.

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4 Comments

  1. sailwawasee February 28, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    Stay on top of your health, old man ;-). It has a way of snow balling. Kidding!

    Moving twice in two years sucked the life out of me even though one was intra-city and the other six floors up. Hope things shake out nicely for you and your family.

    I love This is Us! So well done. Feels authentic.

    • Joshua Wilner February 28, 2017 at 8:11 pm

      I always listen to the wisdom of my elders. 😉

      Moving is a lot harder when you own real stuff and your wiser body doesn’t appreciate being asked to do some of things we ask of it.

      It really does feel authentic, reminds me of a time long gone now.

  2. Danny Brown February 26, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    Hey there Josh,

    I think as we get older, we become more cognizant of the things that would never have bothered us before. Little nicks become bigger cuts, minor bruises become life-sized shadows, and a gentle cough becomes an uncompromising wheeze.

    I like that. I don’t like the fact that it’s a sign of us becoming at one with our mortality, but I like that it forces us to take a step back, pause, consider and reevaluate. We have different priorities now than we did at 20, or 30, or even 40. Sometimes we need the nicks to remind us we’re alive.

    Nice soundtrack, by the way. 🙂

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