Regrets, I Have A Few

Three years ago I left Texas and promised I’d return, couldn’t say precisely whether it would be for June or slightly later, just that I would.

There were good reasons to leave and many good reasons to stay, but if you asked me if I regret leaving I’d say yes.

I don’t do that often because I know life sometimes makes it difficult to determine which path is the right one.

You can only peer so far into the future before the fog obscures your vision.

But in this case, well I feel certain that the hell I went through wouldn’t have been the same if I had stayed.

Doesn’t mean there wouldn’t have been challenges, but they would have been different, maybe less.

deathdickinson

What A Dream I Had

I keep playing Kathy’s Song & For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her because there is a partially formed thought or idea in the back of my head and they’re tied into it.

Got this idea that Art Garfunkel is going to step out of iTunes and enlighten me.

He’ll smile at me, sing a verse and suddenly I’ll get it.

It will be one of those moments where you connect with someone and communicate without words.

****

Communication is a funny thing to me.

Some people tell me I am the worst communicator they have ever met and others say I don’t know how to shut up.

It makes wonder if certain people can hear the thoughts of others regardless of whether they physically speak.

Makes me wonder if sometimes we create situations where apologies are necessary because of what we don’t say or didn’t do.

Use Your Vote

I became a first time voter in Texas today.

Went down the Rec for early voting and smiled because it was a different experience.

I didn’t have to show 198 forms of ID in Los Angeles nor did I use electronic voting.

The polls weren’t saturated with signs and flyers promoting candidates and propositions either.

I suppose the most surreal part was realizing how much I have to learn about the players and propositions.

Thought about asking a few people in advance, but I didn’t so I went with what I thought was best.

Most important though was my vote for the next POTUS.

This is the ugliest campaign cycle I have ever seen and I am anxious for it to end.

It has wrecked some friendships, maybe with good cause, maybe not.

Apologies

I suppose it brings me back to apologies and the question about how much hurt we sometimes carry around.

We never know for certain what others think or feel. Sometimes we think we do, but unless you talk you just never know.

Never know if they share similar regrets or don’t care.n

Never know where their heads are really at and maybe it matters and maybe it doesn’t.

I suppose you can blame some of these thoughts and feelings on the campaign cycle.

It feels like we are missing compassion and that is a terrible thing to have go missing.

****

Three years later and in some ways it feels like a lifetime has passed and in others not at all.

It’s a brand new world and adventure.

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