Got an idea of what I think the future might look like but I can’t quite put my finger on it and every time I try the image runs away.
Standing in line in Jimmy Johns I listen to a Black Crowes cover of Hard To Handle and smile because I like the song.
It is a good cover but I like the original Otis Redding better.
The teenager behind the counter isn’t in any hurry to move the line along so I am left to continue thinking about the past, present and future.
Left to wonder some more about what it feels like to stand inside the shul I drove by and to remember you have to learn how to walk before you can run.
Thoughts and ideas float through my head and I wonder what the attorney who visited my LinkedIn profile and this blog is looking for.
Is it just curiosity or is there professional interest behind his quest.
Maybe I’ll find out and maybe I won’t, you just never know if what they say about time revealing all is true or not.
My reverie is interrupted by the kid at the counter and the thought that my oldest has to be his age or damn close to it.
Most of the time I don’t think twice about it but given all that has happened this past year it is on my mind more than ever.
Who We Are Meets Who We Were & Who We Will Be
I am too hungry to wait to take it back to my apartment so I sit down in a corner and wolf the thing down.
It is a decent sandwich but what I really want is some good sushi and I haven’t yet found a place I like.
Back at the counter I watch the kid flirt with the two girls that just walked in and realize he is older than I thought.
I know this because of the conversation but doesn’t matter because if he really is almost 20 he is still a contemporary of my son and a generation or two away from me.
None of these should surprise me because there is nothing inherently profound, new or different in them.
Thirty-five minutes earlier I stood at a cart in the middle of the Grapevine Mills Mall speaking Hebrew with the Israeli kid who is selling massagers.
He only wants to know how I speak, why I am there and do I realize how much has changed since I was in Israel in 1985.
I tell him I have been back several times since then and mention how close I came to moving there.
My Iphone buzzes and I see a text about my dad’s surgery.
Three more come flashing through and I realize I am part of a group chat containing multiple generations of family.
My oldest nephew comments and I figure it will be an hour before my own kids get out of school and are able to share their own wit.
The guy who talked about moving to Israel had no children but this guy, the one I am now, well he is sandwiched between his children and his parents.
It is normal, natural and not unexpected but sometimes it is jarring to recognize how much time has passed.
Back in the apartment I look around and think about what remains to be unpacked and the list of things to do and smile.
Twenty years ago I never would have expected to live like this or have thought about how easy it would be for me to envision a future unlike any I had planned.
I was a different man then and I suppose in time I’ll look back upon now and say the same about the present.
The immediate goal for now is to make like the lion and focus upon the immediate task of the present.
Instead of worrying about what might happen in the future I’ll be grateful to keep walking into it and experiencing it.
Got a couple of weeks left before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Just a little time left to clean whatever slates need to be cleaned and to celebrate another year on the orb by breaking another fast.
No need to rush, all will revealed.