Six hours ago I wandered through an apartment complex looking at the amenities and silently laughing because they had taken me to see an apartment layout called “Cleveland Heights.”
I wanted to ask the woman who showed me around if the bathtub water would spontaneously burst into flame or if living there would cause my sports teams to be cursed, but I got distracted by the attached garage and forgot to ask.
Still, it did make me chuckle to see Cleveland in Texas. Who would have thought that sort of thing would happen, but life is nothing but interesting.
I don’t want to tell you how many different apartments I looked at, how many mattresses I tested or how many times people told me that they had the best apartment complex in Texas to show me.
Those of you who know me in real life know I have a little bit of experience in sales and that I am not real fond of sales people who lie when they can’t answer questions or intentionally obfuscate the truth.
When you tell me that you have worked at a complex for two weeks I am going to be skeptical about your knowledge of the property which is why I might ask you how you know the answers to some questions. Those questions aren’t because I am a jerk it is because you want me to sign a contract saying I am going to live in “your” complex and I like to know more than just a couple of details about my home.
Of course I would never defenestrate you in person, but don’t think I didn’t imagine it, especially when you stopped talking to me so that you could talk to the girls who were at the pool.
Of Beds and Mattresses
The joy of dealing with people is that you get to deal with people, some are good, some are bad and some are beyond description. But I did make a substantial amount of progress today and celebrated my productivity with a great steak dinner and a nice mug of Shiner Bock.
After what felt like 387 hours of mattress testing I used the Goldilocks method and found one that wasn’t too hard or too soft, it was just right.
Confession, I am not positive it is just right. I really liked it. I thought it was better than the others I tried and I think it is very comfortable but it won’t get the Wilner seal of approval until I start sleeping on it.
I am not really worried about it. I did the best I could given the circumstances but mattresses are one of those things where you don’t really know how it is going to work out until you start using it on a regular basis.
I am ok with that.
The Field Is Narrowed
The Goldilocks method was not employed to locate a home to hang my hat because that would be far too easy. No I prefer to use the “look at 873,883 apartments” trick.
It is a great way to find lots of “examples” of people you love and to gain a greater appreciation for the beauty of being a billionaire who can afford to live anywhere he or she chooses.
Anyhoo after many hours I found that not every older apartment in Texas is blessed with a shower head that is made for someone who is under 5’3 and that newer complexes aren’t just cookie cutter cut outs that have no character.
Isn’t that a nifty way of saying I have two different complexes I am trying to choose between. Actually the differences and distinctions are minor so I expect that tomorrow The Magic 8 Ball and I will choose the perfect place to lay my head down to sleep each evening.
And should we be wrong, well I have no fear because I know people who know the perfect apartment complex in Texas.
About That Steak Dinner
One month into life in Texas I hadn’t partaken of a steak dinner so I decided that the successful acquisition of a bed and my having almost figured out where I wish to dwell were enough of an excuse to hit the local Saltgrass Steakhouse.
It was a very good meal, not the best steak I have ever had but quite satisfying nonetheless.
And Now For A Favor
And now dear reader I’d like to ask you to consider becoming a fan of my Facebook page. Simply click on that link and you can join the many others who haven’t received anything other than my gratitude for becoming a fan of the Joshua Wilner blog.
However I can assure you that if you do and any benefits come from doing so you will enjoy them. Trust me, I know things and if I don’t. well The Magic 8 Ball does.